Those Scary Trees...

DEVIL TREE by Steve Vernon (2011 Macabre Ink Digital / 289 pp / eBook)


Former preacher Lucas Sawyer and his wife Tamsen are seeking a new life, heading south down the Greensnake River.  They nearly drown when their raft capsizes, but are rescued by a burly man named Jonah Duvall, who takes them back to his home in an isolated valley.  Duvall's wife Jezebel helps nurse them back to health as their son looks on, and before long Lucas is helping Duvall with the daily chores. And in time Lucas and Tamsen will discover a strange, gigantic tree that sits in the middle of the woods, a tree that seems to be in control of Duvall.  A tree that is beginning to call to each of them...


In Vernon's 19th-century-set horror tale, isolation and the impossibility of escape--coupled with supernatural elements--enhance the chills with each page that goes by.  While the plot may seem a bit familiar, Vernon's natural talent for infusing believablitiy into each of his characters helps give things a fresh feel.


Vernon is well known for his ability to blend horror and humor (his 2004 novella LONG HORN, BIG SHAGGY being one of my all-time favorites), but here he paints a pitch-black serious tale that'll make you increasingly apprehensive.  With Cronenberg-esque body terror, a Wendigo-type sub plot, and a wicked tree that would give the vegetation in the original EVIL DEAD a run for its money, DEVIL TREE is a best bet for horror fans tired of not being scared by horror fiction.


This one delivers the goods.

Rise and Fall of a Porn King...

BENEATH CONTEMPT AND HAPPY TO BE THERE: THE FIGHTING LIFE OF PORN KING AL GOLDSTEIN by Jack Stevenson (2011 Headpress / 218 pp / tp)

I think I was fourteen when I came across an issue of a newspaper called SCREW.  While most fourteen year old boys would be happy to find a piece of pornography, this paper was just utterly…disgusting!  You could almost feel the herpes dripping off the pages, which consisted more of sex-related articles and ads for call girls and night clubs than it had dirty pictures.  In other words, this was bottom-of-the-barrel sleaze.  Over the years I had heard of the exploits of this paper’s founder, Al Goldstein, but never paid him (or his paper) much attention.  Aside from his life-long career as a porn publisher, he has showed up in some non-porn films (including the 4^th TOXIC AVENGER movie) and is viewed by many as a champion of 1^st amendment rights.  To others, he’s considered the filthiest man who has ever lived.  And after reading BENEATH CONTEMPT, I’ve come to see him as both.

Stevenson gives a brief history of Goldstein’s Jewish upbringing in Brooklyn, and it was clear from an early age he was more interested in what lay across the river in Manhattan than in the teachings of his local synagogue.  Before becoming the infamous porn publisher he’d be known for, Goldstein served for a brief time in the U.S. army as a photographer, attended Pace University on a G.I. bill then worked as a photographer for the Daily Mirror.  He even won a writing contest held by Escapade magazine before taking on photo jobs in Cuba and traveling to Russia before getting a job as a writer for pulp-magazine legend Myron Fass.

Much of BENEATH CONTEMPT then deals with Goldstein’s creation of SCREW, a local New York sex paper that ran from 1968-to the early 2000s (his former employees restarted it in 2005).  Goldstein eventually became a millionaire, an amazing feat considering SCREW was mainly sold in Manhattan and major cities: he would appear in court several times for sending the paper to some middle-America states on the charge of “distributing obscene material.”  His court cases have become legendary (during one of his divorce trials, he wore a t-shirt that said “Death Before Marriage”), and his language and actions toward the judges were anything but civil.  His anarchy-esque lifestyle made most rock stars jealous, and his sex hi-jinks (despite his unattractive mug and overweight body) dumbfounded all who knew him.

While it’s hard to like someone like Goldstein, you can’t help but admire the “living large” lifestyle the success of SCREW magazine brought him, from mansions in Florida to the most expensive of jewelry, Al had it and ran with it.  Of course, someone who spent money like this and had as many enemies was destined to fall, and fall he did.  Between 2003 and 2004, Al became bankrupt and homeless, sleeping in shelters and 24-hour Starbucks coffee shops.  Friends would throw him money and feed him, and he took jobs you’d never think a former millionaire would (from working in a deli to being a greeter at a mid-town cigar shop).  If nothing else, Al Goldstein held an old-school, hard working ethic that had paid off and also helped him to overcome his financial ruin.

Stevenson also portrays Goldstein as a man who continued to use 60s/70s business tactics despite the modern Internet age.  He was a smut peddler stuck in time, a vile, vulgar, offensive sex addict who—despite being married five times—claimed true love didn’t exist.  His two-faced relationship with fellow pornographer/1^st amendment champion Larry Flynt as well as 70s porn queen Linda Lovelace provides some of the book’s best stories.

BENEATH CONTEMPT will make you both admire and loathe a man who lived the American dream despite what anyone had to say about his methods of doing so.  You may love or hate him, but the importance of his place in New York’s underground, barrier-breaking history can’t be denied.

Stevenson, an accomplished author of several books dealing with cult film authors and genres, provides plenty of info. for those interested in learning more about this filthy American menace…

Al Goldstein at his infamously cluttered desk


More info here: BENEATH CONTEMPT

Those SLEAZY Paperbacks!

HIP POCKET SLEAZE: THE LURID WORLD OF VINTAGE ADULT PAPERBACKS by John Harrison (2011 Headpress / 392 pp / tp)


While not exhaustive, Harrison's look at trashy paperbacks from the 50s-70s is quite impressive.  His introduction tells of his growing up in an area of Australia that was comparable to New York City's Times Square of yesteryear, complete with a second hand bookstore packed with rare goodies.


In his short history of paperbacks, Harrison explains how paperback novels were looked down upon (thanks to the usual, lurid subject matter) and explains how the film noir genre helped with their popularity.  .After giving a brief history of adult paperbacks, we get some amazing interviews with several legendary pulp authors, including Ann Bannon and Jim Harmon (there's even reviews of a few books penned by infamous film director Ed Wood, Jr.).


Perhaps the biggest draw to these vintage books were their eye-catching cover art.  Harrison takes a look at three of the masters (Gene Bilbrew, Eric Stanton, andBill Ward) then gives an interesting interview with Dede Aday MacDonald, daughter of Sanford Aday, who had spent much of his life publishing and distributing obscure paperbacks (and often being arrested for his efforts).


Before delving into the world of 70s paperbacks, Harrison gives some great reviews of several vintage adult titles, a few of which I've already sought out and ordered.


As a child of the 70s, I was completely fascinated with the section titled "When Softcore Hardened & the Sleaze Became Sick," which features interviews with editors and publishers who began to release some of the most explicit novels ever to see print (at the time).  Incest, beastiality, and satanism were common themes.  Some memorable titles included 'The Molester Stepmother,' 'Satan's Chicks,' and 'Human-Animal Sex,' which was one of several animal-themed books able to get away with obscenity charges by being released as a medical text.  Who says loop holes haven't existed forever?


While the main focus of the book is adult titles, other genres (horror, crime, Nazis, science fiction) are examined.  One horror novel that actually sounds quite good is titled 'Crocodile,' written by Carl Ruhen in 1981 for Horwitz Books.  The synopsis given sounds more disturbing than a dozen SyFy channel giant monster flicks combined.  There's also a section featuring several horror movie tie-in novels, including Dawn of the Dead, Squirm, Inseminoid, and, most shockingly, the seldom-seen UK comedy Queen Kong (!), which was made to cash in on the success of the 1976 remake of King Kong.  As the author states:

"The discovery of this paperback in my used bookstore has convinced me that any film may have its own tie-in novel sitting out there hidden on some musty old shelf, waiting to be rediscovered."  -pp. 231

Harrison then gives us a tour of witchcraft and Charles Manson-themed paperbacks, before coming to one of my favorite sections of the book.  Among the Miscellaneous, Offbeat, and Esoteric titles, the cover of one book actually made my stomach drop (hence why it's probably featured on the cover):

Author Robert Buchard's 1970 'Thirty Seconds Over New York' deals with an anti-American Red Chinese colonel who orchestrates a nuclear attack over Manhattan.  There's no need to get into the shocking, almost premonition-like nature of the cover.


The only uneven section is titled 'Classic Smut Film Rags,' which takes up over thirty pages.  While the author feels these porn-film review magazines "share the same dirty bed as adult paperbacks from this era," I found the inclusion put the book at a brief pause.


HIP POCKET SLEAZE concludes by interviewing two major adult paperback collectors, and offers a priceless appendix that's packed with resources for serious collectors.


Props given to Mr. Harrison for this huge undertaking, highlighted by Headpress' always beautiful page layouts and rare book cover art.  Any book lover will eat this one up in no time.


More info here: HIP POCKET SLEAZE

A FANTASTIC Debut...

IDOLS AND CONS by S.S. Michaels (2011 / 254 pp / eBook)


John is a drug-dealing (and taking) punk living in a seedy section of Los Angeles, sketching and playing his guitar.  His neighborhood has been overrun with yuppies and celebrities looking to be hip.  John's also a voyuer, and Damien--the singer for a popular boy band--lives right across the street.  John's used to watching Damien bring home groupies for sex romps, but one day things go a little overboard and the singer accidentally kills a teenage girl.  He wraps her in a carpet and throws her in a dumpster--and makes eye contact with the peeping John as he does so.


While furhter spying the neighborhood, John witnesses his artist-neighbor Patrick walking into his apartment with the carpet/body.  He unwisely decides to go over there and confront him, only to find himself stuck in a world of murder and a growing art project that's beyond gruesome.


But Patrick is the least of John's problems: when John's kidnapped by two thugs, he winds up in the presence of Damien, whose manager had suggested they kill John for his knowledge before he rats and destroys the pop star's career.  But Damien can't bear to kill his friend (and drug supplier), so he manages to make John a part of In Dreams, his huge boy band.  John accepts (having no other choice), and before long takes to his new role, becoming the most popular member of the band while simultaneously becoming part of a huge art show.


S.S. Michaels' debut novel is nearly impossible to put down.  She blends the seedy L.A. underground drug and art world with pop music fame, adds a crime element, and makes us cheer-on her rags-to-riches character despite his low-life personality.  And best of all, IDOLS AND CONS is heavy on the suspense and has just the right amount of humor thrown in.


With its message of how far some will go for fame (and the ways people deal with it), the novel is as cautionary as it is entertaining.  One of the finest debuts I've read in a long time...

Trying to Make CASH off of CLASH

The 40th installment of my SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES column takes a look at WAR OF THE WIZARDS, a hokey martial arts film re-packaged in an attempt to cash in on CLASH OF THE TITANS' success!

CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT (War of the Wizards)

A Re-Discovered Classic

DEVILS' DRUMS by Vivian Meik (2011 Medusa Press / 214 pp / limited edition hc)


Continuing to find and re-release seldom-heard horror authors of old, Medusa Press delivers yet another fine collection from a fascinating writer.


After an informative introduction (Meik truly lived an amazing life), the original ten stories that made up DEVIL'S DRUMS in 1933 are presented, followed by three more tales (one actually a non-fiction piece).  Meik spent several years in Africa, his love and admiration for the country and culture showing in each tale.


The first two stories, 'Devil's Drums' and 'White Zombie' introduce us to African voodoo, complete with witch doctors, slave-zombies, and plenty of eerie atmosphere.  'An Acre in Hell' is one of the better moments here, dealing with the ultimate in voodoo evil and human sacrifice.  'The Doll of Death' is a spooky little yarn that was even turned into a short film forty years later when it appeared on one of the last episodes of 'Rod Serling's Night Gallery' in 1973.


'White Man's Law' shows what happens when the west intervenes where it shouldn't, and acts as a catalyst for the stories to follow (Mein uses most of the same characters in this collection, making the shorts seem almost like a single, long story).  'L'Amitie Reste' brings Meik favorites Geoffrey Aylett (an action commissioner) and Padre Vaneken (a Catholic missionary) closer together, this time in one of several tales that uses letters to unravel the happenings.


'The Man Who Sold His Shadow' is easily the best of the bunch, an eerie, heart-breaking account of a recently married white couple and their dealings with a local witch doctor.  It's the best example of Meik's horror writing, mixing a compelling supernatural plot with social intrigue.  'R.A.' finds our heroes Aylett and Padre Vaneken trying to get to the bottom of a series of gruesome murders along the local villages that leads them to a mysterious old woman and a legendary snake god.  'A Honeymoon in Hate' takes another look at a young couple and their life in Africa, complete with a surprise, brutal (for its time) ending.


The collection isn't called DEVILS' DRUMS for no reason: voodoo drum beats reverbeat throughout each tale, bringing a sense of dread whenever they appear.  'Domiria's Drum' ends the original ten-stories of the collection, once again taking a look at yet another cursed couple.


'The Two Old Women' (the first of three extra stories included in this edition) features not only characters from Meik's African horror tales, but also Meik himself.  This time the voodoo has come to London.  I'm assuming 'Chiromo' is the non-fiction piece mentioned in Douglas A. Anderson's introduction, as it starts off like a memoir then turns into a bizarre ghost story.  'I Leave it to You' ends the collection and is told from the Padre's point of view, and deals with a strange woman who may or may not be what she seems.


I found Meik's writing to be filler-free and to the point.  Perhaps he used the word "horror" a bit too often, but otherwise he was gifted at building dread and atmosphere while crafting likeable characters in a minimalist manner.  Medusa Press has also (once again) created an absolutely beautiful book here, one that any serious fan of horror fiction history will want on their book shelf.

A Newly Discovered Crackpot Masterpiece!

Leave it up to the lunatics at SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO to find this lost gangster comedy and release it to the masses.  This previously unreleased film stars the legendary JANE RUSSELL, who appears here in her last FILM role before doing a couple of TV shows in the mid 80s.  Godfather Johnny Stiletto is played by Peter Savage, who went on to smaller roles in Martin Scorcese's TAXI DRIVER and RAGING BULL.  But the fun here comes from Stiletto's six mob goons who are played by former boxing champions (Jake La Motta, Rocky Graziano, Willie Pep, Paddy Demarco, Tony Zale, and Petey Scalzio) who provide most of the films' bumbling antics, at times in BENNY HILL-style speed-ups.  An opening fight scene between Stiletto's boys and another gang features Loony Tunes-type sound effects, creating a hilarious, old-fashioned slapstick brawl that had me in stitches.  There are a few times during the film silly cartoon-sounds are used in place of people's words, one time nearly causing me to fall off the couch in hysterics.


THE GODFATHER AND THE LADY (co-titled 6 CHAMPIONS GO WILD) centers around the Godfather's daughter, Paulette.  The Don can't keep her boyfriend Armand off of her, and he discovers she's pregnant.  Although he wants to whack Armand, his daughter convinces him not to...and the boyfriend promises to marry her.  But first Armand must get the approval of his guardian, his aunt Nira (Jane Russell), a snobby dame who hates gangsters and doesn't take to Stiletto's cigar smoking.


In the messy story that follows, Aunt Nira (now broke despite her spacious home) will only give her blessing to the wedding if Stiletto can convince her rich uncle to change his will to leave her his money.  The film pretty much goes all over the place from this point, but I was still laughing over the opening cartoon-ish fight sequence to care.


As Stiletto tries to work the rich uncle, he makes his goons watch his daughter.  Despite the fact she's already knocked up, he doesn't want Armand touching her anymore until the wedding.  A hilarious "baby-sitting" scene goes down where two of the boys show up with their much-younger dates and begin making out and dancing while Paulette and Armand sneak into her bedroom to do the nasty.  Thinking Armand has gone home early and Paulette sleeping, the boys head back to their hangout where the Godfather is still attempting to con the rich Uncle by using sexy dancing girls to entice him.  Up until this point I had no idea gangsters (even in the 70s) danced this much.


And considering the music, hair styles and clothing, I'm willing to bet this "1975" film was shot at least five or six years earlier as it has a true 60s vibe going throughout.


Star Peter Savage directed this celluloid abomination under his real name, Peter Petrella, and there's actually a co-director credited during the film's opening sequence.


THE GODFATHER AND THE LADY is a real gem...a true "so bad it's good" that the folks at Something Weird Video have an uncanny knack for discovering.  I can't wait to show this to my old man as he's a huge boxing fan (one has to wonder just how bored these retired champions had to be to act in such a goofy flick), and despite her age, Jane Russell looks pretty good here.


With a few symbolic/surreal dream sequences, atrocious acting, a horrendous soundtrack and some of the ugliest suits ever to grace a gangster flick, this is a best-bet for your next drunken movie night.

 Mob goon after getting cracked in the face during the opening brawl...

 The Godfather goes after his daughter's boyfriend

 Jane Russell makes the gas face when the Don lights-up his stogie

 Who knew old goons got such hot chicks?

 Party time at the gang's hang out

 Russell listens as the Godfather plans to manipulate her rich Uncle's will...

 Why would gangsters want a spacious limo when they could squeeze into a cool Mustang?

 After being double-crossed, the Godfather bows to Russell (OOPS--spoiler alert!)

 The Don and his goons

 Paulette and Armand in one of the Godfather's dream sequences...

 Gangster go-go girls!

 Former world champ Rocky Graziano living it up outside the ring!

 The Godfather lights a stogie after shagging Russell...

SOMETHING WEIRD VIDEO's DVD-R cover for the film, which can be ordered here:

THE GODFATHER AND THE LADY (DVD-R)

(Note: the film can also be downloaded here):

GODFATHER/LADY DOWNLOAD

Ughhhh...

THE YEARS OF MAGIC by J. Lyndon Hickman (2011 / 234 pp / tp)


Set in 1934, Hickman's debut novel deals with what might have happened in the spirit world if electricity ceased to exist at that time.  His two protagonists (a gentleman named David Rancliff and his new friend Winston Thomas Guildersleeves--who turns out to be David's guardian angel) are likeable enough, but after setting up its quirky premise,THE YEARS OF MAGIC quickly looses logic and steam and its base intention seems all but forgotten.


When the world's electricity supply is taken away, the small town of Gallatin becomes host to a group of vampires who build an army through a huge, fancy, corrupt church.  David and Winston also encounter werewolves, zombies, ghosts, and just about anything else the author could think to throw in.  Apparently the absence of global electricity has caused these legendary monsters to come forth as MAGIC's story becomes an uneven, unintentionally funny tale that bounces all over the place and is further marred by some of the worst dialogue I've read in years.


This is a fine example of a self-published title that could've used a seriously professional edit.  I have no idea how I made it to the end.

One for the Youngin's...

CROOKED HILLS (BOOK ONE) by Cullen Bunn (2011 Earwig Press / 248 pp. / tp, eBook, and limited edition hc)


After their father passes away, Charlie and his younger brother Alex are taken on a trip to the small town of Crooked Hills by their mom.  Charlie's a bit upset as he was looking forward to spending the summer with his friends, but it doesn't take long for him to gain interest in their planned 6-week vacation.  Charlie's mom gives him a book about the haunted legends of Crooked Hills, and before long his cousin Marty and a red-headed tom boy named Lisa are exploring the back woods and its chilling legends.


When each kid has a nightmare about a legendary local witch--and discover young Alex has been kidnapped by a woman bent on resurrecting that witch--the stage is set for plenty of action and suspense.  Along the way our little heroes grapple with all kinds of creepy crawlies, ghosts, a nasty dog, and two teenage bullies.  Bunn doesn't shy away from having these children deal with death and dark situations, and does so in a manner that shouldn't freak out the more impressionable young readers.


Cullen Bunn's first book in the CROOKED HILL series is aimed at the 9-12 year-old market, and if given a proper push there's no reason this shouldn't take off.  It's loaded with fun, is written at a great pace, and is a good way to introduce the kids to the horror genre.  I'll surely be getting a copy for my nephew...

A 1980 Obscurity...

The 39th column in my SUBURBAN GRINDHOUSE MEMORIES series is now LIVE at CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT:

FIEND (1980)

Uncomfortable Admissions (Part One): The Strange Case of Dave Murray

I am a heterosexual.  I've been attracted to females since the day I came into the world almost forty-four years ago.  I love everything about them, even their irritating habits and endless need to buy the most useless crap to place around the house.


In 1980, I was a sixth grade student.  A friend of mine let me borrow a cassette by a heavy metal band called IRON MAIDEN.  I became a fan of theirs.  When their second album came out in 1981, I bought a cassette and played it non-stop.  Like most white suburban teenage boys into rock music at the time, this band consumed my mind 24/7, from their horror-imagery to their amazingly fast bass lines and gruesome lyrics.  I must have listened to their first two albums a million times each during these two years.


Then something strange happened.


I bought a couple of posters featuring IRON MAIDEN, both in their original five-man lineup (today the band has six members, only three from the first two albums still on board).  The long-haired man pictured at the top of this post is MAIDEN guitarist Dave Murray.  After countless hours spent in my bedroom staring at these posters as I read horror magazines and listened to MAIDEN on my stereo, I eventually developed a non-sexual man-crush on him.  A pre-"bromance."  I thought he was the coolest-looking guitarist ever with his extra-long hair and hard-to-identify cool-ass attitude when he played live on stage.  To me the guy was the epitome of a rock n roll god.  I saw Iron Maiden's 1983 and 1985 world tours, and most recently saw them on their 2008 retro-80s tour here in New York City.

My daughter (now 16) became a serious fan of IRON MAIDEN around age eleven, although she had been listening to them since she was three.  When my wife and I took her and my son to see IRON MAIDEN in 2008, my Dave Murray story came out and disturbed the poor child more than I intended it to.


"But you're not gay," she said, laughing as I attempted to explain my fascination with the British guitar slinger.


"I know," I said, "But if I was a chick, I'd probably think he was hot."


She laughed, especially when I told her one of my ex-girlfriends back in high school thought Murray looked like E.T.  Naturally, we broke up shortly after.


I'm one of those guys who has a hard time determining what other guys the ladies find attractive.  While most of my female friends are in love with Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt, I just don't get it.  Being straighter than an arrow, I enjoy some of the films these men act in, but couldn't tell you if one was better looking than the other.  OR Dave Murray.  Because to me--if I was a chick--would be after Dave Murray, the metal guitar wizard who has been blowing me away with his unique axe-sound for over thirty years.


And then...tragedy struck:


On a fateful afternoon in 2008 (shortly before we saw the 2008 tour), my daughter and I watched a VH1 program about IRON MAIDEN.  In the program, Dave Murray is interviewed along with the rest of the band.


It was the first time I heard Dave's voice.


After noticing a look my face had never made before or since, my daughter broke out into a fit of confused laughter that was a mixture of hysteria and genuinely feeling bad for her father.


Dave Murray--the rock god I had idolized since I was twelve years old--was the first man I ever heard speak with a British accent that also had a massive LISP.  And I mean MASSIVE.


I didn't know if I should laugh or cry.  I felt cheated.  How could such a cool-looking guitarist (and handsome son of a bitch) sound so goofy?  I looked on in disbelief as I remembered the stories former MAIDEN vocalist Paul Di'anno told about Murray in his autobiography, THE BEAST.  Murray--who had been a mad party animal with wildman Di'Anno during many of his arrests and nights of pure debauchery--was speaking like a mentally challenged reject from ROMPER ROOM.  My stomach sank to the lowest depths of the planet.


I didn't move from my seat for about two hours.  My daughter even handed me a cold bottle of water in an attempt to get this voice--this image--out of my mind.  How could I EVER listen to classic MAIDEN songs such as PHANTOM OF THE OPERA, KILLERS, or MURDERS IN THE RUE MORGUE again without thinking of my favorite guitarist's ridiculous-sounding voice?  How could I listen to any of their songs ever again without feeling cheated and having a mental breakdown?


My non-sexual man-crush came to an end after this program.  And to this day I couldn't tell you who a handsome guy is...not only because I'm a hardcore heterosexual, but because I am DONE answering this stupid question many of my female friends seem to ask me all the time.


As for Dave Murray . . . at least we had the early 80s.

(POST NOTE: Below is a picture of Dave Murray TODAY (2011).  What on earth was I thinking?)

Monster Mush...

THE CREEPING KELP by William Meikle (2011 Dark Regions Press / 158 pp / tp)


Remember that segement in CREEPSHOW 2 where a bunch of teenagers go on a raft in an isolated pond and get attacked by a mysterious, floating black mass?  THE CREEPING KELP brings this skit to mind, only on an epic scale.


Noble and Suzie are two scientists working near London in the North Atlantic.  After discovering a strange, black tar on the motor of his boat, Noble makes it back to the main ship just as all hell breaks loose.


As an ever-growing mass of black, tendril-sprouting seaweed attacks England's shores, Noble and Suzie uncover this phenomenon by reading through journals left by recent military persons, then older texts dating back to the 1500s by a Catholic priest and a ship captain.


While Meikle gives a few head-scratching ideas as to what this Creeping Kelp is (everything from an ancient God to a human-engineered military weapon is cited), this short novel is packed with so much cheesy scifi/horror fun it was easy for me to overlook the monster's unclear origin.


Like a better film on the SyFy Channel, THE CREEPING KELP delivers the creature-feature goods despite it's goofy, 'Spongebob'-sounding title.  It starts out as an ecological warning (the beast feeds on plastic consumer waste) yet ends on a Lovecraftian, action-packed note with plenty of dazzling visuals.  Its environmental edge is quickly forgotten in place of major Kelp attacks and latent conspiracy theories.


KELP is an uneven read that tries to make a point or two, but those seeking some classic 1950s-style monster mayhem should be able to ignore the confusion and have a good time.  I did.

Return to Breton Court...

KING’S WAR: THE KNIGHTS OF BRETON COURT BOOK III by Maurice Broaddus (2011 Angry Robot / 400 pp / mmp)

This third (and what seems like final) installment of Broaddus’ Indianapolis street-gang saga begins with an unspeakable act of violence as two gangs battle for supremacy in the wake of King’s most recent setbacks. It seems he’s getting soft and the time is at hand for a new leader to take charge of the inner-city underworld. And when King is shot during an ambush, his rival, Dred, begins to draw as many as he can over to his side as his magical abilities grow stronger.


For those new to this series, it’s basically a modern-day re-telling of the King Arthur legend, using ‘hood gangs in place of knights, prostitutes in place of princesses, and a wise old man in place of the grand wizard. The series’ strength has been its ability to blend fantasy elements (dragons, magic, and strange creatures) right alongside the gritty, realistic, every-day street lifestyle, and Broaddus brings this even stronger here than in the first two novels. There’s also a deeper spiritual element this time, plenty of twists, surprises, and emotional depth that should satisfy those who have been hanging around Breton Court these past couple of years.

While I think a novel centered around street gangs could’ve used some more fight scenes (the final battle even seemed a bit rushed), Broaddus manages to keep the pace moving from the gripping prologue right through the unexpected conclusion, and whether this is the final installment or the beginning of a new chapter at Breton Court, things are wrapped up quite nicely. Some good stuff here.

HALLOWEEN 2011

SO a bunch of us were invited to a very cool Halloween party in Long Island this past Friday night.  Several in attendance were NECon regulars, so it was like a mini-reunion of sorts.  Below are the winners of several different costume prizes (Including me as "Dr. Howie Feltersnatch, GYNECOLOGY.").  I won for funniest costume...

Linda Addison won for sexiest, Matt Schwartz won two prizes, and Kelly Laymon won for her homeless woman get-up.  And yes, the alcohol was flowing freely . . .

My good friend Sheri came as Alex from A CLOCKWORK ORANGE, and despite getting lost going to and fro, the night was a lot of fun.

We now return to your regularly scheduled programming . . .