Can a CHILD play KILL AND GO HIDE with a ZOMBIE CHILD?

BOTTOM SHELF AT THE VIDEO STORE, my latest film column, debuts this month over at THE BLACK GLOVE: http://the-black-glove.blogspot.com/2011/03/bottom-shelf-at-video-store1.html

After you enjoy my fine piece, read the entire March issue right here: http://the-black-glove.blogspot.com/

Butcher Knives & Body Counts gets release date...

(click image for larger view)

Dark Scribe Press' long-awaited horror film book, BUTCHER KNIVES & BODY COUNTS: ESSAYS ON THE FORMULA, FRIGHTS, & FUN OF THE SLASHER FILM will be released on August 1, 2011. I'll be among the 70+ contributors to this 500+-paged volume with my piece on the 1981 film, NIGHTMARE (a slasher film I've been raving about since I first saw it in a 1982 double feature with MOTHER'S DAY). Above is the wrap-around cover image, and it's a real beauty!

You've waited this long, so a few more months should be a piece of cake...

Inept Filmmaking at its Finest...

There's nothing I like more than discovering a genuine, 70s-era grindhouse film I had no idea existed. And thanks to the lunatics over at Something Weird Video, I was just introduced to a real oddity from 1977 titled ANOTHER SON OF SAM (it's available at http://www.somethingweird.com/ on DVD-R and as a download).

If you're one of those film-goers who HATES really, really, really bad cinema, you might as well skip this review (not to mention seeing the film itself). But if you enjoy inept filmmaking, horrendous 70s fashions, plot-holes galore, and a genuine grindhouse experience, pay attention:

For the first 5-6 minutes of this 74-minute epic, we see a cop walking around a dock with his girlfriend and then water skiing. I still have no idea why, but that's the least of this films puzzles. Next, we're treated to some local North Carolina lounge singer named Johnny Charro, who sings as our cop relaxes with his girl after a long day's water skiing. Again, I have no idea why.

Ah--around 15 minutes into this the film begins: A psycho named Harvey (and nope--the name has nothing to do with the dog that allegedly told the real Son of Sam to kill) is injected with sedatives at a mental institution. But apparently they shot him up with steroids. Harvey kills two orderlies and a nurse, then escapes to a local park where he kills two cops as a dozen others run in circles looking for him.

Before long, Harvey finds his way to a State college where he hides in a girls' dorm room, eventually taking two of them hostage, despite the fact the cops evacuated everyone from the building (the two girls miraculously show up in their room after they had left the campus and the place had been quarantined--one of many questions not worth asking or worrying about).

Despite the fact a SWAT team is called in, the local cops are still running all over the dorm trying to locate the elusive killer, who is shown in BLOOD FEAST-style eyeball close-ups (and on occassion we see his moccasins tip-toeing down hallways).

We eventually learn Harvey had been sexually abused by his mother as a child, so the cops call her in to try and talk her son out of the hostage situation. It works, giving our cops and SWAT-sters time to blow a couple dozen holes in him.

ANOTHER SON OF SAM is crudely edited, poorly lit, features fashions that will make even 70s fans glad the decade is long gone, music that sounds like left-overs from an HG Lewis film, and best of all, poster art that's better than the film itself.

As a show of total classlessness, this film was released in 1977, before there was any other fictional film about the Son of Sam, and (I'm assuming) while Berkowitz was still at large. Shot with the working title HOSTAGES, the producer went above and beyond to re-title his film in a way that might possibly draw a crowd and make him some moolah (I'm not sure if it did either). Speaking of said producer, North Carolina local David Adams also wrote and directed and cast and edited this seldom-seen gem of pure trash---PLUS he was a stunt coordinator (being a former stunt man himself).

If you like your films trashy, pointless, and full of unintentional laughs, ANOTHER SON OF SAM is pure gold. All others, turn and run away as fast as you can.

Johnny Charro croons Tom Jones-style

Harvey stealing his eye-stalk from BLOOD FEAST's Fuad Ramses!

In the hi-tech police office...

A cute future-hostage coed and her polyester boyfriend

If this slow-moving SWAT team had been in DAWN OF THE DEAD, they'd a-been chow in less than 2 seconds!

The Police Captain's son-in-law bites a bullet from Harvey---the DRAMA!

SPOILER ALERT!!! Harvey gets shot at the end!

A local cop faces Harvey's wrath (this image from Something Weird Video's website)

Who Said Getting Old Was No Fun?

OLD MAN'S WAR by John Scalzi (2005 Tor / 316 pp / hc)

I've been on a military sci-fi binge the past few years, thanks in large part to Robert Buettner's ORPHANGE series, and I've had several people recommend this one from John Sclazi to me (and I'm glad I took the time to read it).

The Colonial Defense Forces (CDF) recruit people when they turn 75 years old to protect the human race and colonies we've started on distant planets. They fit them with new, modified bodies that enable them to fight like advanced soldiers with the stamina of a 20 year-old, and gadgetry that'd make Heinlen himself envious.

Tired of life on earth and being without his wife, 75 year-old John Perry enlists in the CDF and on his way to their space station, meets several like-minded seniors who are about to take the same life-changing plunge. The early parts of OLD MAN'S WAR, in which we see John being modified and trained with his new body and equipment, are quite entertaining (some even spooky), and although at times filled with technobabble, Scalzi keeps it to a minimum and I wasn't lost or bored for a second. One of the more interesting weapons new recruits get are called BrainPals, which are basically micro-computera that are fit into the brain in which crucial data and communication can be given and received without having to utter a word (and what Perry and his new friends name their BrainPals is quite funny). While most of this novel is serious and action-packed, there's lot of well-timed humor, especially during the first half.

Understanding that once he joins the CDF there's no returning to earth, Perry goes on his first mission to rescue a human-colonized planet from a fierce alien race. While the mission is a success, he barely makes it out in one piece, and is rescued by a woman who looks like his late wife. Without giving anything away, Scalzi gives this tale a heart-breaking, romantic-side story that's every bit as good as the alien battles and "skip-jumping" technology that the CDF goes into battle to protect and hopefully learn more about.

I was surprised how quickly the final battle between the CDF and an alien race known as the Rraey is, but OLD MAN'S WAR is a solid, fun read filled with neat ideas, some violent battles, and a cast that I grew to like very quickly. I'm looking forward to reading the next 3 books in this series, and hope the coming film-version of OLD MAN'S WAR is even a quarter-as-good as this stellar novel.

(NOTE: The cover art above is from the hardcover version available only thought www.sfbc.com)

Get a GRIP. . .

I have a very dark sense of humor. Being raised in a house where everyone's chops were busted every hour, on the hour, had something to do with it (not to mention being a life-long fan of Don Rickles and the more "nastier" comedians). I sometimes forget the majority of the world can dish it out, but simply can't take it. I was reminded of this old addage today in the wake of Elizabeth Taylor's passing.

Let me explain:

For starters, I was never a fan of Liz Taylor, who passed away today at the age of 79. Was she a good (even legendary) actress? Sure. Was she a real beauty in her younger years? Without a doubt. But for whatever reason, I was never a fan. Sue me. To each their own. I always preferred scream queens and underground actresses over the popular Hollywood starlets. Again, just my preference.

On every social networking site I belong to, as well as three message boards I frequent, there were tributes to Liz Taylor--everything from simple "R.I.P. Liz" status' to lengthy pieces on how she'll be missed and what a legend the world has lost, blah blah blah (oops, there I go again).

So, in an attempt to make people laugh, I brought up some of the darker things in Liz's life on these threads: the families she helped to destroy, her horrendous parenting skills, her coke and alcohol use, her narcissism--you know, basically the stuff that's been printed in the tabloids since she became a star. And within an hour's time, I ended up removing my attempt at humor from three threads on Facebook (although I left one on a thread that remained civilized), and also from three message boards (boards that are frequented by some of the most liberal, free-thinking friends I have). You'd think these fine folks (some who know me for a while now) would understand I was just breaking chops. I'm indifferent to Liz Taylor; I could have done this to anyone (and in fact, have on several occasions). But for whatever individual reasons some people had (five who even wrote to me on the side asking if I even owned a heart and/or a conscience) it seems they took my comments as hard as if I were insulting their own dead mother.

I asked some of these people if they were related to Liz, and no one was. I mentioned that I brought these things up to try and lighten everyone's mood, and show that (despite) her iconic level of popularity, she was just a human being like you and me.

But again, my seldom-understood sense of humor went over a lot of people's heads and I pissed a lot of them off.

So, I question those who may be reading this who may have been offended by my comments today, which were nothing more than reminding people about some facts of Liz's life: why have I seen some of you laugh at some of the crudest, nastiest jokes allowed by law, yet my lame sarcastic fact-posting has you up in arms? Why do you laugh at insults aimed at other deceased celebrities (and politicians) and never blink an eye? And most of all, why did so many of you take this so personally?

I'm stumped. I understand some people grow close to their idols, but for so many people to feel personally offended that I ragged LIZ TAYLOR simply baffles me.

I'm asking all my friends and colleges who may be reading this to please, please, please GET A GRIP ON REALITY. Elizabeth Taylor was a movie star who made some bad decisions--decisions that on a simple whim I pointed out in an attempt to get a laugh (you know, like almost every single comedian on the planet does on a daily basis?). Taylor also did a lot of good things--things I didn't mention because in the world of comedy, the good things are rarely as funny as the bad. I understand that some may have been offended due to the fact Liz is now deceased--but again, I didn't say anything nasty or that wasn't true, and it wasn't my intention to "insult" a dead person. (On a side note--I'm completely blown away that some of the offended, who are fans of gore films, death metal, and other "extreme" forms of entertainment, could actually have their feathers ruffled over my comment about a mainstream movie star. Un-freaking-believable.).

Let me end this note by (again) stating that I'm still in semi-shock over how many people ripped me a new one today and how many fans of extreme entertainment claimed my comment upset them. I'm not apologizing because no apology is necessary. I can only imagine what would have happened if I aimed a joke in their direction(!). I guess it's safe to assume there aren't as many fans of dark humor out there that I thought there were. Oh well; their loss. And to everyone I say one more time: GET A GRIP. . .

Saturday Night in Beirut*

EVERY SHALLOW CUT by Tom Piccirilli (2011 Chizine Publications / 162 pp / tp)

Piccirilli's latest noir tale is told from the point of view of an unnamed man who we learn is a mid-list author who has lost everything: his 2nd wife, his house, and apparently most of his readership. He lives in a car with his dog, Churchill, and decides to take a cross-country trip back to New York to visit his older brother.

Before he leaves Colorado, he hocks some of his final belongings at a pawn shop and purchases a .38 with some of the money. After a long, tiring trip, his brother is surprised to see him, and reluctantly allows him (and Churchill) to stay for a while.

EVERY SHALLOW CUT's strength is in its slow-building suspense: we know the unnamed author is on the brink of going postal, especially when he hits Manhattan to visit his agent who has (apparently) given up on promoting his books. The author also visits his ex-girlfriend, and though wild thoughts go through his head as they speak on her front stairs, he doesn't act on them.

An old friend in the Bronx (a psychiatric counselor and part-time author himself) offers the author his apartment to crash in, and after going through his rucksack, tries to get get the author to understand he's having a nervous breakdown. The author leaves his friend's apartment after a few days and has a run-in with a young cop, and things quickly get ugly.

At first I felt a bit let-down by CUT's non-dramatic conclusion, but after chewing on it a while, it made me look at this "noirella" in a different way. Piccirilli has once again created a strong, troubled character who we can't take our eyes off; we don't know if he's going to snap or let things go on as always (the ending leaves it for the reader to decide). And as with any good story (regardless of length), we're left wanting more.

(*-Blog title taken from page 124)

A GREAT Late-Night Read...

DEATHWATCH by Lisa Mannetti (2010 Shadowfall Publications / 158 pp / e-book)

Like her debut novel, THE GENTLING BOX, the two novellas collected in DEATHWATCH are historical (set in the late 19th century) and offer some genuine chills and disturbing scenarios.

In DISSOLUTION, young medical student Stuart Granville is lured into helping a surgeon separate his twin daughters who are cojoined at the hip. To make matters more difficult, the twins' dead mother haunts Stuart and her supernatural power becomes stronger when the twins are finally separated. Guess how the twins and Stuart decide to get rid of the evil spirt? I'd tell you but I don't want to ruin this nifty yarn that's overflowing with great gothic atmosphere and dread that builds on every page.

In THE SHEILA NA GIG, teenager Tom Smith reveals why he's leaving Ireland for America to a drunken passenger in the bottom of a ship he manages to bribe his way aboard. Tom's recounting of his dysfunctional family and a powerful idol had me reading through it at top speed and the conclusion was quite satisfying.

While I thought DISSOLUTION was the better of the two, they're both solid horror stories that are perfect for late-night reading, and both feature atmosphere that make things as interesting as the characters and ideas.

DEATHWATCH is a great hold-over until Mannetti's next novel.

ICHI: One ICKY Film (and that's a compliment...)

Now ten years old, I finally got around to seeing Takashi Miike's ICHI THE KILLER (2001), a bizarre, brutal, and funny gangster epic that looked absolutely amazing on the big screen at Lincoln Center's Walter Reade Theater (NYC) as part of a 4-day Miike retrospective.

The story is a simple gang/revenge tale: The Anjo gang finds their leader missing along with 300 million yen. Anjo's right hand man, Kahikara, is an insane sadomasochist who, after torturing the wrong man for information on Anjo's whereabouts, is asked to leave the Yakuza syndicate; but this only pisses him off more and he takes over the Anjo family in a relentless attempt to locate the boss. Then the Anjo gang begin to get picked off in gruesome ways by a man Kahikara learns is named Ichi, who is controlled by an older man named Jijii. Hence, the Anjo gang is also bent on finding Ichi and Jijii. The relationship between Jijii and Ichi is as psychological as cinema gets, and adds a dimension here not seen in any other gangster film.

Miike has created a unique Japanese underworld full of unusual characters, violence that will dare even some seasoned gore-hounds to not look away, and a head-trip of an ending that (so far) I can think of 3 possible meanings for (and I'm sure there's more).

While I found most of the violence comical and over the top (this IS based on a Japanese manga), standard film-goers will surely be turned off by the graphic tongue amputation, brutality toward prostitutes, endless disembowelments, and endless hackings and slashings. Yet despite all the gore, the film features several characters who we care for (both good and bad), and there's a couple of neat twists as the film goes on that will surely keep anyone's interest.

The beautiful Paulyn Sun as Karen

I'm looking forward to seeing ICHI again, as the film BEGS to be watched a few times to take everything in. While I still wouldn't be considered a Miike fanatic, it's easy to see why he has gained such a huge cult following: his chops as a director (especially during the opening sequence) are quite impressive.

Nao Ohmori as the reluctant killer, ICHI

White Dog Takes a Nibble of Manhattan...

Sam Fuller's controversial 1982 film, WHITE DOG, had a rare midnight screening this weekend at the IFC Center in NYC. Thought to have been too risky due to it's racial elements, studio execs refused to release the film, and it wasn't until 1990 when it started playing at revival festivals. In 2008, Criterion did a long-awaited DVD treatment, replacing years of horrible-looking VHS bootlegs.

Kristy McNichol stars as struggling actress Julie who runs over a white German Shepherd late one night. She brings it home, nurses it back to health, and after visiting an animal shleter (and seeing how the dogs are put to death if they're not claimed within 3 days), she decides to keep the seemingly loveable pooch. Good thing, too, as a rapist breaks into her house the next night, and sure enough she's saved by the dog.

The dog chases a rabbit in Kristy's backyard one day, and manages to go on a little adventure, leaving his new home for a few days. He attacks a black man as he drives a street sweeper, causing the vehicle to run through a small department store.

After the shepherd returns home and is cleaned up, Julie takes him to a TV studio where she's filming a commercial. The dog goes bonkers when he see's her co-star (a black woman), and attacks her, putting her in the hospital.

Julie realizes something isn't right, and looks for someone who might be able to de-programme the dog's racial-prejudice. She finds him working at a place (run by Burl Ives!) that trains animals for use in Hollywood movies. Paul (THE TERMINATOR) Winfield plays a man simply named Keys, who is gung-ho to deprogramme White Dogs (the official name given to dogs raised to attack and kill blacks). After several sessions, he manages to gain the dog's trust, but by the time we get to the bleak finale, we realize the old addage of "you can't teach an old dog new tricks" is quite true.

WHITE DOG, despite it's reputation, has the feel of a 1970s TV movie (albeit with a bit more violence, which doesn't go above its PG rating). While easily classifiable as a horror film, it's more of a dark drama which shows the unchanging, hateful nature of mankind and how that hate can be taught to another species (and hence the early controversy with the studio's refusal to release the flm in 1982). Yet I'm convinced if these execs would have actually WATCHED the film, they would have seen it as anything BUT racist: Winfield's character, Keys, manages to breakthrough to the dog, and the ending has the dog taking revenge out on the white man who trained him to hate (albeit the wrong white man).

While not Sam Fuller's finest film, it's an interesting one despite McNichol's less than stellar performance and a few attack scenes that had the audience laughing out loud. (5 dogs were used to play the title character, but you'd never know it...props to the pooches!). It's definitely worth a look, just don't expect to be as shocked or disturbed as the film's reputation may have suggested.

McNichol runs to aid Burl Ives at the conclusion of WHITE DOG

James Newman's ANIMOSITY set for release

ANIMOSITY, a new horror novel by author James Newman (who just happens to be a fan and friend of this blog) is set to be released by the always reliable folks at Necessary Evil Press. Full press release with ordering info below:

JAMES NEWMAN OFFERS READERS "AMERICAN HORROR STORY" WITH LATEST NOVEL, ANIMOSITY


James Newman announces the release of his new novel, Animosity, available April 1 from Necessary Evil Press.

Animosity is the story of Andrew Holland, a bestselling horror writer whose life starts to mirror the fictional nightmares of his novels after he finds the body of a murdered child not far from his home. Though the authorities clear him of any wrongdoing, as weeks pass with no arrest the local media insinuates connections between the gruesome subject matter of Andy's novels and his tragic discovery. In a community tainted by suspicion and paranoia, Andy soon finds himself a pariah, and fears he might not make it out of his once-idyllic neighborhood alive. Subtitled "An American Horror Story", Animosity is a modern-day morality tale in which the monsters wear familiar faces . . . rather than bloodthirsty vampires or brain-eating zombies beating at the door, these are our friends, our families, our peers . . . .

Animosity has received advance praise from a number of established authors. Rick Hautala (Ordinary Demons) called the novel "a great story filled with tension and genuine horror . . . this book will entertain you even as it shows the worst in human nature and our struggle to rise above it", J.F. Gonzalez (Survivor) said it "echoes the works of Bentley Little and George Orwell", and the novel features a special Foreword by award-winning novelist Ray Garton (Live Girls).

James Newman's previously published books include the novels Midnight Rain and The Wicked, a short story collection, People Are Strange, and several novellas, including Holy Rollers and The Forum. The film rights to Animosity were optioned pre-publication, and a screenplay is currently being shopped around Hollywood.

The signed, limited hardcover edition of Animosity can be ordered directly from the publisher, Necessary Evil Press (http://www.necessaryevilpress.com/), or from online bookstores such as Camelot Books (http://www.camelotbooks.com/), and the Horror Mall (http://www.horror-mall.com/). Additional information can be found on the author's website, http://www.james-newman.com/.

I recently attended the NY premiere of the new documentary, HERSCHELL GORDON LEWIS: THE GODFATHER OF GORE, and shared my thoughts over at CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT. Enjoy:

http://cinemaknifefight.com/2011/03/17/the-godfather-of-gore-finally-gets-his-due/

A Killer Strikes at Home During WW2...

THE GERMAN by Lee Thomas (2011 Lethe Press / 277 pp / tp)

Set in a small Texas town during World War 2, THE GERMAN twists racial and sexual prejudices into a tightly woven thriller that had me guessing until the end.

A couple of young men are found dead, one disembowled and the other hanged, both with snuffboxes stuffed in their mouhts that contain messages written in German. Naturally, the German citizens of the town are suspect, especially Ernst Lang, a quiet yet authoratative man who lives across the street from young Tim Randall.

Tim's father is overseas "fighting the good fight," while his mother works the night shift at a factory. Tim sneaks out when she's gone with his best friend, Bum, and one night they decide to spy on Mr. Lang. A few older teenagers catch Tim peeking through Lang's window and when they see him having sex with another man, they become convinced Lang must be the murderer.

On the case is Sheriff Tom Rabbit, continually attempting to give the German suspects the benefit of the doubt while trying to keep the increasingly rowdy, blood-thirsty natives at bay. He's a likeable enough character who shines during the surprising finale.

Thomas paints a dark portrait of paranoid small-town ideology and of man's refusal to allow logic to rule over his self-imposed passions. In doing so he skillfully builds the reader's liking for both the young, patriotic Tim as well as the former socialist, Nazi party leader, Ernst. Ernst is a gay man who doesn't fit gay stereotypes: he's a rugged, tough ex-soldier who can take just about anyone in a bar fight and defends his personal choices in ways that confound all he speaks to. His reasons for leaving Germany make it difficult for Sheriff Tom to view him as a suspect, which increases the mystery and gives the novel a sense of "it could truly be anyone."

Like any memorable thriller, there's plenty of tension and a pace that makes it hard to put down. Thomas also (as with his novel, THE DUST OF WONDERLAND) weaves homosexuality purposefully into the story, not as a means of exploitation. There's also a grim torture scene reminiscent of Jack Ketchum's THE GIRL NEXT DOOR, making THE GERMAN a bit more horror-edged than your standard mainstream thriller.

I've been watching Thomas grow as a writer since his debut novel, STAINED, was released back in 2004, and in a relatively short period of time his chops have become slick and his prose poetic and smooth, yet always able to genuinely chill the spine. THE GERMAN is a fine example of an author who handles his craft like a seasoned vet, and is able to blend genres in a way that should appeal to different audiences.

(This book is officially released TODAY, March 15, 2011).

Terrible...Yet I Could Not Look Away...

Even for a mod film, 1968's THE TOUCHABLES is a strange one, despite little-to-no "trip-out" scenes, no drug use, little drinking, and a plot that's barely there (if at all).

Four care-free rich girls kidnap a statue of Michael Caine at a party. When its owner retrieves it, the girls decide to kidnap a famous rock singer (Christian) at a wrestling match. Three of them dress as nuns while one dresses as a cigarette girl. They lure him into the back room during the match and manage to knock him out and dress him as a nun. They wheelchair him out of there, into their nifty sports car, and head out to the English countryside where they live in an enormous see-through Dome on seemingly endless property (which includes a huge lake).

The girls tie him to their round bed and keep him prisoner, but like any swinging 60s heterosexual rock star, Christian accepts his fate and indulges the ladies one at a time (there's practically no nudity and the sex scenes cut away to the next scene or go into goofy dream sequences that attempt to be symbolic of something I couldn't decipher). When not shagging, the girls entertain Christian (and each other) with ping pong tournaments, pinball, dancing and poetry reading. It's nice to have money and not have to work...no?

One of the wrestlers is a sort-of boyfriend to one of our rich Dome girls, and his black wrestler nemesis (named Lilly White!) has his goons looking for the kidnapped Christian, a man he'd "Like to know a lot more about." Yep, there's gay undertones all throughout the film (both male and female) but they're never explored.

While it's not discussed why these girls are so rich, most viewers won't care due to the look of this beautifully shot (and edited) film that must've looked amazing on a big screen (the film has not come (legally) to video, but plays occasionally on the Fox Movie Channel, where I recently caught it).

THE TOUCHABLES, though completely pointless, is as much of a female fantasy as a male's, and in that regard it works as eye-candy (albeit PG-rated) of the obscure kind.

I'm assuming the film takes place IN 1968 (the year it was made), although during a mock-court sequence, one of the girls mentions a law that was created in 1987, so along with several other questions, you'll have to let this slide and enjoy the ladies playing foosball in their short nighties.

Lilly White's goons end up locating Christian at the Dome, and before long Christian's tour manager and several others converge for a fist-flying ending that's as out of place as the sudden opening party scene. This freaky mess ends with Christian agreeing to head to Hollywood with his manager (a possible symbol of the UK finding its own mod scene getting tired?) and the Dome being deflated, looking like a pseudo 007 flick.

Sadie, Melanie, Busbee, and Samson are 4 beautiful friends who are hard to take your eyes off, and I'm assuming Christian (with his Beatles / pre-Justin Bieber hairdo) has some sort of appeal, but only fans of meaningless cinema will be able to sit through this thing even one complete time. It would, however, make a GREAT midnight movie...

The Groovy Girls of THE TOUCHABLES (Front: Ester Anderson. Sitting: Monika Ringwald, Kathy Simmonds and Judy Huxtable)

Where to Get Some of My Fiction...

...for my new followers both here and on various other social networking sites, here's a list of anthologies some of my short fiction has appeared in. The first two have recently gone out of print but you can check ebay and amazon for used copies.

(2006--features my story, "Toes")

(2007--features my story "I Buried a Fergason (a.k.a. Zombie VIII in Italy")

(2008--features my story "The Life Machine (or, How the Boardwalk Tried to Darken the World")

Available here: http://www.amazon.com/Strange-Stories-Sand-Esther-Schrader/dp/0979477050

(2008--features my story "Tight Space")

Available here: http://www.amazon.com/Bits-Dead-Keith-Gouveia/dp/1897217811/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1300047305&sr=1-1

(2010--features my story "The Aircrash Bureau (or, How Johnny Carson and General Patton Hijacked a Space Shuttle to Get Back on the Air")

Available here: http://www.amazon.com/Houdini-Gut-Punch-Jonathan-Moon/dp/1456333496/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1300047393&sr=1-1

And for those of you who still haven't taken the plunge into this classic,

this 2005 underground cult hit can still be ordered right here : http://www.horror-mall.com/TWO-TWISTED-NUTS-by-Jeff-Strand-and-Nick-Cato-limited-edition-chapbook-p-19846.html

I have 2 stories and one non-fiction piece slated for release later this year...more news to follow.

Book 3 is a Decent Turn...

DYING TO LIVE: LAST RITES by Kim Paffenroth (2011 Permuted Press / 242 pp / tp)

Lucy and Truman, 2 intelligent zombies from DYING TO LIVE: LIFE SENTENCE, open this 3rd installment of Paffenroth's undead saga aboard a small boat. They're traveling with Will and Rachel, two humans who have learned to trust them (although Rachel is a bit more apprehensive than Will). They find a dock outside of a walled-in city named New Sparta. Will and Rachel are allowed to enter so long as they hand their 2 zombie companions over to the city to be used in their undead labor force. Lucy and Truman agree to this, despite figuring there will surely be rough times ahead.

Will and Rachel quickly adapt to their new home: they're given a nice little house and each of them find jobs (Rachel on a construction site, and Will with a group of men who leave the city to keep wandering zombies at bay). They become friends with their neighbors (a couple about their age with a baby), and while Will looks forward to getting back on the water, Rachel begins to grow comfortable, enjoying all the comforts available to them in New Sparta.

Things aren't so good for Lucy and Truman. She's forced to work with a group of fellow zombies who (like Will's job) also go outside the city looking for undead threats, and Truman winds up as the new "smart zombie" attraction at a local circus. When he gets tired of the way the human handle him, he rebels, and is punished via electrocution for spectators to see.

When Rachel goes with her neighbor to the circus and sees Truman being tortured, she becomes convinced the citizens of New Sparta are more savage than the zombies and agrees with Will that they need to leave...after they try to rescue their zombie friends.

While I've been enjoying Paffenroth's unique apocalyptic series, this 3rd novel--while emotionally the richest of the series--felt more like an unusual drama than a horror novel. That's not to knock it--I'm sure fans of the series will enjoy this, despite the absence of some favorite characters from the past two books (my favorite character from the 1st novel, Milton--barely seen in the 2nd--isn't even mentioned this time). Also, the religious aspect that made the first novel so memorable is barely touched on, although Paffenroth does make up for it with his contemplations on the human (and undead) condition in a way that'd make (even) George Romero jealous.

I strongly recommend new readers read the first two novels before trying LAST RITES. There's some zombie goodness here and there, along with a few tense scenes, but fans of the zombie subgenre looking for an all-out gut-muncher might be disappointed.

I'd like to see a return (and an expansion) to the religious themes of the first novel should Paffenroth deliver a 4th, but regardless of which direction this series may take, readers can bet that whatever the author comes up with, it won't be the same old generic zombie story. And for that alone, LAST RITES is worth any zombie fan's time.

Twisted Tales . . .

Check out my latest book review over at THE CROW'S CAW:

http://thecrowscaw.com/2011/03/09/reviewed-twisted-tales-from-the-torchlight-inn-by-ty-schwamberger-thomas-a-erb-dean-harrison/

Comic Geek Update No. 8

I know I sound like a broken record (HEY---remember that term?), but Dark Horse Comics' CONAN: ROAD OF KINGS series is yet another example of how everyone's favorite Cimmerian can be done the right way. In this 3rd issue, Conan leaves princess Olivia at a shady tavern as he tries to locate an old friend. But the sexy dancer girl he left her with almost has her life taken by the slimebag she works for. When Conan returns to the tavern, Olivia is missing, and the basement holds an underground lake that's home to a huge sea dragon. The 4th issue is now set up quite well, and Doug Wheatley's cover art can be stared at for hours...

The 11th issue of Vertigo's iZOMBIE features vampire hunter Horatio as he learns the origin of the vampire girls and gets his partner back after making a truce with them; Ghost girl Ellie finally meets Scott's grandfather (who's now inside the body of a chimp) while Galatea informs mummy-man Amon about Xitalu, a Cthulhu-like God whose powers she's trying to harbor. We discover vampire girl Claire has little self-control with her human blood lust, and our title zombie girl Gwen contemplates her possible romantic future with Horatio (who still doesn't know she's undead) as she hangs in the cemetery with Ellie and the were-terrier. These first 11 issues sort-of conclude an introduction to all these characters, and we're promised the start of a new story arc with issue 12. Addictive, fun stuff so far.

After the last 2 issues' epic 'Aquawar' story, we're back to Martian Manhunter's battle on Mars with D'Kay that began a few issues ago. This 21st issue begins with the aftermath of the Aquawar, then dives into Manhunter's epic brawl (that ends with a few Big Bangs). We also learn (somewhat) what has been happening with Deadman since the White Lantern took possession of him. While BRIGHTEST DAY has drifted away from the zombie tale it began as back in the DARKEST NIGHT series, it's still a continually action-packed, interesting tale (and it's bi-weekly to boot).

100 Years Ago in Idaho . . .

EUTOPIA by David Nickle (2011 Chizine Publications / 320 pp / tp)

Sometime in 1911, Jason Thistledown's mother dies. He keeps her body in a barn and does his best to survive the rest of the snowy winter on their isolated pig farm. As soon as spring approaches, an aunt he didn't know he had shows up and explains that his mother has died of a strange illness. Jason's Aunt Germaine then takes him away from his hometown (where he learns everyone has died of the same illness) and brings him to a mountainous area of Idaho known as Eliada.

Meanwhile, Eliada is having its own problems: The Ku Klux Klan are about to lynch a negro doctor (Andrew Waggoner) who they apparently don't want working in ther hospital. But before they hang him, Dr. Wagoner sees another person about to be hanged--a strange-looking man who we later find out is a patient at the hospital's quarantine ward. Dr. Waggoner is rescued at the last minute by Sam Green, a man hired to keep order by Garrison Harper, who has set up this smal town according to his own ideals.

When Jason arrives in Eliada, it doesn't take long for Nickle to get the suspense going: his aunt allows the head doctor, Dr. Bergstrom, to place him in quarantine to make sure he isn't carring the germ that killed his hometown. After waking up strapped to an operating table, and surviving an attack by small demonic-looking creatures, Jason begins to wonder who this mysterious aunt is and why she has brought him here.

There's so much that happens after this simple premise I don't know how Nickle managed to keep the rest of the novel so tight. There's fantastic atmopshere throughout as conspiracy theories abound in this fresh take on the small-town-harboring-ancient-evil theme (at least I'm assuming the evil here is ancient). Readers will be thoroughly taken with Jason (son of an alleged gunslinger) and Dr. Waggoner (not to mention a potential germ-warfare subplot) that by the time the creatures come fully into play, they won't be taken as the goofy imps of your standard pulp novel. EUTOPIA is as frightening in its social message as it is with its religious themes, and features irresistable prose.

While EUTOPIA doesn't hit the reader over the head despite everything going on, its slow-building tension works well with several pay-offs as the end approaches, and the many subplots never slow the story down--but enhance it. A top-notch novel all around.

A Prison Flick Done Right

Very well done film based on Britain's most dangerous prisoner. Tom Hardy delivers an amazing performance as Michael Peterson, a small time criminal who was supposed to do 7 years for a robbery but wound up doing 34...30 in solitary confinement.

When Michael adopts his "fighter name," Charles Bronson (suggested by a prison mate), the film quickly becomes one of the more original prison dramas, full of off-beat humor and some surreal self-narration from Bronson.

The Objectfilms DVD comes with a nice making-of featurette and a separate soundtrack CD.

Poetry for the PerVERSE

THE ULTIMATE PERVERSEITIES by Kurt Newton (2010 Naked Snake Press / 90 pp / tp)

It seems I've been assaulted with several collections of horror-based poetry lately, and while I occassionally enjoy some dark verse, I'm not exactly an authority (or a huge fan) of the genre. However, when something as fun as THE ULTIMATE PERVERSEITIES comes across my desk, I'm more than happy to spend time with some horrific rhymes...(okay--I tried).

Set up in 6 sections, Newton's poems are (usually) short and sweet and at times offer some truly ghastly scenarios. In 'Captives of the Curious,' we meet several helpless victims in some unusual situations, my favorite being 'Dead in the Water,' about an afternoon cruise on a sailboat that goes horribly wrong.

Newton's second section, 'A Brush with the Macabre,' proved to be my favorite of the book, each poem featuring horror with a bizarro twist (check out 'Small Town Parade' and you may begin to doubt the author's sanity).

'In Sanity's Wake' offers 10 poems, including the hysterical 'Holocaust Beauty Pageant' (MAN do I love that title!).

'Forbiding Places,' takes a look at all kinds of dwellings, the best being the b-movie titled 'Slaughterhouse Girls' and 'Church Bazaar,' one of the longest (and best) pieces of the collection.

Section 5, 'Nightmare Trappings,' features another longer one titled 'Aborting the Antichrist,' which features a "shock" ending (!) and several 'Wet Dreams' most of us would rather not have.

PERVERSEITIES ends with 'Oddly Enough,' featuring a few food-based pieces, of which 'Breakfast of Champions' does a fine job of combining laughs and gags.

With plenty of artwork courtesy of Christopher Friend (whose sketch on page 74 is to die for), Newton's PERVERSEITIES is a neat little book for when you're craving some bite-sized chills (and you don't need to be a big poetry fan to enjoy it).