Comic Geek Update No. 6

DC's post-zombie epic BRIGHTEST DAY kicks into high gear with the latest 2 issues. No. 13 features Hawkman's brutal attack on Hawkworld as he attempts to rescue Hawkgirl from her demented mother. It was nice to see an entire issue dedicated to one situation, with only a brief teaser for the next issue. Issue 14 deals with Deadman--convinced Batman's the Chosen one to wear the White Ring--discovering his mistake and finally professing his love for Dove. HUGE congrats go out to writer Geoff Johns, who was recently named Best Comic Book Writer at the 2010 Spike TV Scream Awards (must count for something, no?). Diggin' this bi-weekly series to (un)death.

The 4th installment of Dynamite's adaptation of THE WARRIORS is, like the issues before it, a scene-for-scene adaptation of Walter Hill's 1979 cult classic film. If you're not a committed fan and/or collector of all things WARRIORS, you'll probably be bored out of your mind. But for those of us who can't get enough, these comics look great on the shelf next to the VHS and DVDs!

A Retro-Honoring Spook Show

BUT FIRST THE DARK by Frank Chigas (2010 Medusa Press / 333 pp. / hc)

Before we get to the stories, I must mention how awesome of a job Medusa Press does with their books: the small, neat pages make this collection very conducive to reading, and the retro-looking dust jacket AND printed-on cloth cover are nifty touches book collectors live for.

As for the ten stories contained within: Frank Chigas' style feels like you're reading stories from the early 1900s: they're pulpy, at times spooky, and most importantly, completely entertaining.

Among my favorites were 'The Pocket Watch' and 'Indian Pipes,' 2 genuinely eerie tales dealing with a powerful object and a satanic cult (respectively). In 'The Visitation,' an old man's drying wife is taken from him by a stranger he has seen outside their window several times, while 'Strange Companion' relies on some grim atmosphere to spin the yarn of a Mr. Desmond Hall's encounter with a stranger on a snowy London evening.

While I enjoyed Chigas' retro-sounding prose (the stories take place shortly after 1900), a couple of tales were predictable and at times I felt like I was reading an old issue of CREEPY or EERIE. But, again, Chigas CAN write and is able to quickly develop sympathy for his characters (no easy feat in a short story) as well as bring the chills on.

BUT FIRST THE DARK comes in a handsome boxed set with another 10-story Chigas collection titled STRANGE CORRIDORS, which I'll be diving into next. (Visit MedusaPress.com for details. Each book can be purchased separately).

Comic Geek Update No. 5

After almost 3 years, Dark Horse's amazing CONAN THE CIMMERIAN series ends with a brutally violent, action-packed finale to the 4-issue "Iron Shadows on the Moon" story arc. Conan has one of his roughest battles of the series as he protects Olivia from a huge Gray Ape, and on the other side of the island Conan's former crew are torn apart by giant statues come-to-life through an ancient curse. It all ends with the surviving pirates once again pledging allegiance to Conan, who has taken over their ship. Along with his new girl (the outcast princess Olivia), they sail into the sunset. The final cover is a tribute to Frazetta by Cary Nord, and the back pages feature some cool fan art and letters.

Conan fans who missed any of these issues missed a real treat, as these were among some of the BEST illustrated Conan tales ever to see print (and that's not over-praise...countless Conan fans agree). The writing and especially the artwork has been top notch since Issue no. 1. Dark Horse is already set to launch a KING CONAN mini-series, so hopefully they'll keep the Cimmerian goodness coming.

Dark Horse also releases the 4th issue of their CREEPY relaunch, this time featuring four new stories, one new Loathsome Lore, and one classic reprint from the old Warren Magazine series. While the final installment of the Hitler thriller X-CHANGE was decent, the b-movie titled ZOMBIE WEDDING AT SLAUGHTER SWAMP was the funnest tale of the issue, and has some gore-geous artwork courtesy of Hilary Barta. Classic Creepy cover artist Ken Kelly does the cover.

In traditional CREEPY style, the stories--although grim at times--border on cheezy, so come expecting a retro-good time.

The 7th issue of Vertigo's iZOMBIE series kicks off a new story arc titled "uVampire." Our favorite zombie girl Gwen (who needs to eat one human brain per month to keep her hunger under control) is overdue for a feeding when Horatio calls for a date (she has been putting him off due to her hunger). With a corpse robber on the loose, the cemetery hasn't had any new bodies for a while, but luckily today an old woman was buried who was "really messed up" in a house fire. Gwen feeds on her brain later that night, and sees the woman's life as she does: she thinks she sees herself in the woman's memories . . . and could it be she has just eaten her mother's brain? Along with her retro-60s ghost friend Chloe and vampire girl Claire, iZOMBIE has been an entertaining read and this latest issue opens up a few interesting possibilities. Michael Allred's artwork gives the whole thing a unique feel. My only problem is the 6-page preview of a forthcoming Vertigo graphic novel, too much space that could've been used on the comic I paid for. Otherwise, I'm diggin' this.

DVD Review: Lars Von Trier's ANTICHRIST

(If you're unfamiliar with Lars Von Trier's controversial 2009 film, please read my review before reading further: http://nickcato.blogspot.com/2009/10/chaos-rules.html)

More than a year and a half have passed since ANTICHRIST's debut at the Cannes Film Festival, and its been just over one year since I saw this during its run at the IFC Center in New York City. While I've seen many films since then, few have stuck with me like this dark, horror/arthouse hybrid that features amazing performances from Willem DaFoe and Charlotte Gainsbourg. Watching it for a second time on this crisp-looking DVD was a treat, as I noticed many things I hadn't during my first viewing, and I'm looking forward to a third.

This 2-DVD set from THE CRITERION COLLECTION is a must own if you're a fan of the film, or even a fan of the director or the actors: they each get quite personal during their interviews on the 2nd disc, which is chock full of extras, including 3 different scene reports from the 2009 Cannes Film Festival, and a 7-part "making of" feature (you don't want to see this before watching the film, especially the special effects section).

The first disc contains a beautiful transfer of the film (this is the non-blu ray version, so I'm assuming the blu ray looks even better), including the same 5.1 surround soundtrack that was presented in theaters. Von Trier and film scholar Murray Smith provide an insightful commentary track, and there are a few theatrical trailers.

There's also a fantastic 28-paged booklet included featuring a nice essay on the film by Ian Christie, a film professor from Birkbeck College, University of London.

This is only the second CRITERION release I own, and it's apparent how much everyone involved with them love the films they release.

Diary of a Madman

DUNCAN'S DIARY: BIRTH OF A SERIAL KILLER by Christopher C. Payne (2009 Journalstone / 252 pp. / tp)

DUNCAN'S DIARY reads like a semi-memoir of a middle aged man who--now divorced with joint custody of his kids--begins to try and find himself. As quickly as he begins to date again, he discovers that murder gives him a sense of self-control and sexual fulfillment he had never known before.

Like a combo of DON'T GO IN THE HOUSE and HENRY: PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL KILLER, DUNCAN'S DIARY gives us a look inside a serial killer's mind, at times tempting us to side with him (and at times the reader just might). But, as in the first film cited above, when we see what Duncan does to his helpless victims in an isolated, customized torture room, we begin to lose any attachment we might have had to this human monster.

While the contrasts between seeing Duncan as a merciless rapist/killer by night and a loving father by day kept the novel flowing, I found the chapters dealing with Sudhir (a detective trying to discover who is behind the serial killings) to be tedious. It's not that he's dull--he's a decent cop with his own set of problems. But compared to the unpredictable mayhem going on with Duncan, readers might find themselves skimming along through Sudhir's investigations (which take up almost half the novel).

DUNCAN'S DIARY is a well written, decent novel that has a bit of a "shock" ending. Serial killer completists might want to check this out.

Posing the Dead

THE PEOPLE OF THE ISLAND by T.M. Wright (2010 Bandersnatch Books / 29 pp. / cb)

This first release from Bandersnatch Books may be a short chapbook, but the story itself creeped me out and that alone makes it worth the $10 cover price (although I do believe "glorified short stories" shouldn't cost more than 5 bucks).

The legendary T.M. Wright delivers a nifty story dealing with a couple living on an isolated island who, each day, find dead bodies positioned in natural poses (one woman is found on an exercise bike, a man staring out at the sea from a hilltop), and in Wright's classic style we're left to wonder if what's happening is real, imagined, or a combo of both.

Being a 26-page story, there's not much more to reveal without ruining it, but suffice it to say this one got under my skin. Wright's dead-on (full pun intended) atmosphere makes this a must for his fans as well as any horror fan who wants a quick chill.

Wondering what Johnny Carson, General Patton, and Jackie Gleason are up to RIGHT NOW?

...you can find out in my new short story, "THE AIRCRASH BUREAU," part of this new bizarro horror anthology, HOUDINI GUT PUNCH (edited by Jonathan Moon) from the Library of Bizarro Horror. Makes a GREAT stocking stuffer!

Grab yerself (and your grandma) a copy right here: http://www.amazon.com/Houdini-Gut-Punch-Jonathan-Moon/dp/1456333496/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1290400482&sr=8-1

Table of Contents:

SIDE A

Neon Gutter Meat- Jordan Krall

Consumer's Paradise- Patrick D'Orazio

The Claws That Catch- P.D. Hansen

Fowlness- Stephanie Kincad

Another Double Helix Day in Taillertown-Ben McElroy

New Age-Rick Coonrod

Peni- Mari Mitchell

Real Love Burns-Jonathan Moon

SIDE B

Hit and Fun- Garrett Cook

Guy WHo Got a Headache- Matt Nord

All Due Stories in Good Time- Timothy W. Long

The Aircrash Bureau (or, How Johnny Carson and General Patton Hi-Jacked a Space Shuttle to Get Back on the Air)-Nick Cato

You'll Be Grated When Your Dead- Ruth Imeson

PING!- Christopher Fox

Drain Angel- Cameron Peirce

Jessie's Back . . . and Better than Before

SHOTGUN SORCERESS by Lucy A. Snyder (2010 Del Rey / 326 pp. / mmp)

In this second installment of Snyder's Jessie Shimmer saga, my favorite occult fantasy girl is coping with life after rescuing her boyfriend Cooper from hell (she now has a hand that continually burns and is capable of firing super-hero-level power blasts if she removes her protective glove) and now discovers that she has become possessed. Not being able to control her hand one night while having sex with Cooper, Jessie nearly burns down her group's safehouse in Columbus, and when a group of powerful creatures come seeking revenge for Jessie's killing of one of their own, our group flees and become trapped in a small Texas town that's been isolated by a powerful demon.

Everything in SHOTGUN SORCERESS is upped from SPELLBENT: there's twice the level of violence, action, and sex, and Jessie's familiar, Pal (no longer a small ferret, but a huge spider-monster that can change sizes at will) continues to be the coolest creature currently creeping around the fantasy genre.

With a suspenseful trip through a dark faery region, several uber-dark visits to Jessie's internal "hellement," and all kinds of monsters and demons causing all kinds of chaos, Snyder is quickly building a series that--if it keeps up this pace--will surely become a favorite of cross-genre fans (did I mention I want to marry Jessie Shimmer yet?).

One warning: this one ends on a total cliffhanger/springboard for the 3rd novel; if you come here looking for a one-time read, you WILL be sucked into Jessie Shimmer's ocularis*, shotgun-magic, horn-ball monsterworld . . . and there will be no escape.

The third adventure can't come fast enough.

(*ocularis: Jessie Shimmer's artificial, occult-emerald eye).

CLASSIC HORROR COMIC COVERS (Volume One)

Because sometimes, you just wanna remember the good 'ol days...

MAMA MIA does this rock!

BREAKING EGGS by Kurt Newton and L.L. Soares (2010 Sideshow Press / 135 pp. / tp)

Have you ever wondered what it might've been like had Edward Lee penned an episode of The Sopranos? Wonder no more.

Martin and Big Phil (a couple of mob goons) use their boss' secluded Vermont cabin to chop-up and get rid of bodies. As they head back to the city one day, they see a group of eight kids walking down a deserted stretch of road. The kids (all Romanian orphans seeking shelter after the death of their adoptive parents) wind up at Arturo Vanducci's cabin and decide to temporarily squat there. Things quickly get out of hand when Mr Vanducci and his secretary/girlfriend show up for a weekend getaway; before long the Romanians are forced to defend their newfound turf, not knowing they have just offed a major mafia kingpin.

When Big Phil and Martin return to the cabin and discover what has happened, the tale takes an even darker turn. And before long, Mr. Vanducci's hyper-violent son, Anthony, grabs his two top capos and heads out to the woods in search of his missing father. (If mobsters from Providence, R.I. are even half as vicious as these nutjobs, I'd bet the N.Y. families would be shaking in their capizios!).

It's difficult to explain much more without spoiling anything, but suffice it to say Newton and Soares have created a wickedly entertaining tale, full of twists, turns, and despite it's graphic violence, an unusually happy and even touching ending (but don't worry--it's still as grim as you'd expect from any Mafia-themed story). These 135 pages fly by, and are enhanced by some great interior artwork by Tony Karnes and Tom Moran (and the extra heavy-paper stock from Sideshow Press could be used to wrap a body in).

With knives and axes used as powerfully as the 9mm's, BREAKING EGGS is one ass-kicking mafia novella that I couldn't get enough of. I'd love to see this demented writing duo continue this (potential) mobster saga. Highly recommended.

Had Potential

PARIAH by Bob Fingerman (2010 Tor Books ./ 365 pp. / tp)

Everyone from ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY to FANGORIA has been raving over this one. Despite being a zombie fanatic, I'm about at my limit with zombie novels, but had to see what all the fuss was about.

Fingerman (author of the well-praised vampire novel, BOTTOMFEEDER), paints a grim picture of post-apocalyptic Manhattan: the novel basically takes place in a single apartment building, and much time is given to the few survivors who dwell within. Thankfully, there's much well-done humor here, and a couple of characters are quite interesting, especially an Italian guido named Eddie who lets his penis do all the thinking, and Mona, a strange, quiet goth girl who is able to walk among the zombies without being touched (hence our title character).

The zombies are described with all the grue horror fans love, and as a stand alone novel it's a decent read. I'm not sure if Fingerman is planning on another story, but PARIAH does read like part of a larger picture, and the end left me wanting. We're not told where the zombies have come from, and we're still not clear why the zombies are afraid of Mona.

Fingerman is a fantastic writer, continually keeping the reader's interest and bringing on the creeps just when you think the laughs might get out of hand. But with so many questions left unanswered, and being a second novel (or a series) isn't mentioned (or hinted at), I can only give this a middle-of-the-road recommendation.

Giallo without the Giallo

I didn't read a single review for Dario Argento's latest film (released in Italy in 2009, just out here on pay per view) so was able to go into this unbiased.

AFTER watching it this evening, I read some reviews over on imdb.com, and am convinced most of the negative reviewers missed one crucial point: as soon as we meet the killer, it's beyond obvious Argento wasn't taking this film completely serious; while GIALLO has a few suspenseful sequences and a few nasty gore scenes, it's also apparent this is a semi-humorous tribute to his older films.

I enjoyed it enough, despite the fact the killer is revealed way too early and the film is more like a mainstream thriller than an actual Giallo film. In fact, it's not like a Giallo film at all!

A psycho in Italy is kidnapping and slicing-up beautiful, foreign fashion models (kind-of bringing H.G. Lewis' THE GORE GORE GIRLS to mind) and when one woman's sister is abducted, she's guided to Inspector Enzo Avolfi (played by Adrien Brody) for help. Brody's acting is WAY over the top here. He comes off like a poor man's Al Pacino, and I didn't know whether to laugh or roll my eyes every time he came out with some silly Clint Eastwood-esque line. Brody and co-star Emmanuelle Seigner smoke in just about every scene, almost making me want to light one up myself. Enzo's back story--told in flashbacks--is quite interesting, and is the strongest part of the film.

If you watch this as Argento doing a fun, self-parody, you'll probably enjoy it, but if you're looking for a modern Giallo, you'll easily walk away aggravated (even Argento himself must've watched the final version and thought, "Hmmm ... this is more SILENCE OF THE LAMBS than FOUR FLIES ON GRAY VELVET.")

Either way, a so-so Argento beats a lame mainstream Hollywood thriller any day in my book.

Seigner and Brody watch the killer fall through a glass ceiling SUSPIRIA-style during the finale of GIALLO

My Top Three Favorite Comedies (plus post-mentions)

Despite being a major fan of comedy films, I don't devote much space to reviewing or paying tribute to them (being I watch and read WAY too much horror and bizarro). Recently, a few friends over on THAT ADDICTIVE SOCIAL NETWORKING SITE had asked me what my all-time favorite comedies were. So, I slept on it a couple of nights and came up with these 3. Why only 3? Because these 3 are films I never get tired of and always find something new to laugh at. But before you look to throw a pie at my face for not including ________, read my little post-mentions. And remember, this is a PERSONAL list so don't go getting your drawers in an uproar! (Make your list instead and post the link on the comments below.)

And the winners are:

KENTUCKY FRIED MOVIE (1977). I first saw this in the early 80s during the VHS-renting craze, and was lucky enough to see it around 1984 during a theatrical re-release. If you haven't had the pleasure, this is basically an R-rated "Saturday Night Live," 90 minutes of film, TV and commercial parodies, plus so many hysterical little knick-knacks it's nearly impossible to get tired of. In the middle of the chaos is a 15-20 minute short film titled A FISTFUL OF YEN, a hysterical spoof of Bruce Lee movies. I must've sat through this film over 20 times and it just never gets old.

TAKE THE MONEY AND RUN (1972). Woody Allen's directorial debut is a mockumentary about Virgil Starkwell, the world's worst career criminal. While ANNIE HALL and MANHATTAN may be more polished productions, this is easily Allen's funniest film, and I still find myself quoting from it almost daily. A small bit of dialogue about the time Virgil managed to rob a bunch of veal cutlets (and what he had to do afterward) still puts me into a tear-enriched state of hysteria.

THE NAKED GUN (1988). Being a huge fan of the short-lived TV series from which this film was based (POLICE SQUAD), I was thrilled to see the film version not only lived up to the laughs the show offered every week, but in many ways improved on them. Leslie Neilsen as detective Frank Drebin is dead-on perfect as a clueless cop who acts without thinking, and there's just so many sight gags, snappy dialogue and things happening in the background you'll be rewinding the disc just to catch what you missed while you were laughing (I saw the film in the theater 2 weeks in a row, and laughed harder the second time). Neilsen wasn't a comic actor before POLICE SQUAD, which makes the serious look on his face nearly impossible to take seriously! Does that make sense? Either way, this one is the best of the 3 NAKED GUN films and one of the funniest films ever made.

Post-mentions: (Films that crack me up but either don't hold up as well (to me) to repeated viewings or have too many stretches of non-humorous material).

THE RETURN OF THE PINK PANTHER (1975). Peter Sellers is beyond funny as chief inspector Jacques Clouseau in this second (and best) of Blake Edwards' PINK PANTHER series. One scene in a hotel room's sauna almost killed my old man and I when I saw this as a kid. The opening fight between Clouseau and his servant/partner Cato Fong is one of the funniest sequences ever filmed. If not for some chase-scene filler added later on, this would be the perfect comedy ... as it stands it's still a classic.

BLAZING SADDLES (1974). While I enjoyed SPACEBALLS and YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN a bit more (being I HATE Westerns---even comedies), I have to list BLAZING SADDLES as the superior COMEDY for it's hysterical take on racism and plenty of other taboo-sensitive topics for its time. It also features a sight gag that still makes me crack up just by thinking about it: early in the film, we see an outlaw about to be hanged for his crimes. When the camera pans down, there's also a noose around his horse's neck. (Let that sink in for a minute). Yes...Mel Brooks is simply insane.

Only time will tell if some more recent comedies I've enjoyed (such as THERE'S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY, CLERKS, and THE HANGOVER) will pass the test of endurance these gems have. So far CLERKS is in the lead...

Raging Against the Machine-Things

THE HORRIBLES by Nathaniel Lambert (2010 Grindhouse Press / 114 pp. / tp)

After watching the gruesome murder of his parents by a strange creature, young Sheldon Delaney becomes an agoraphobic, afraid to go outside and encounter a similar fate.

Now, haunted by the ghosts of his parents and the continual threat of running into one of The Horribles, Shedlon is a work-at-home adult, his only friend a young neighbor named Evan. Their semi-peaceful existence turns around when their entire town recieves fliers announcing a family-fun motor parade. Sheldon knows this must be an elaborate attempt by The Horribles to get him out of the house...and despite his knowledge, he's forced to leave the safety of his home when the parade manages to kidnap all the children of Poe's Creek (including Evan) while killing all the adults; all the adults, with the exception of Sheldon.

THE HORRIBLES is a decent little horror yarn, although I couldn't see why Sheldon had become an agoraphobic; while his dad had been killed in their backyard, his mother was killed--right before his eyes--in the kitchen; why Sheldon felt safe inside OR outside is anyone's guess. But this secondary issue aside, Lambert's novella reads like a solid b-movie that manages to work, from the nifty half mechanical/half flesh creatures to the PSYCHOMANIA-esque motor cycle gang to the PINOCCHIO-type terror aimed at the town's youngsters. There's also a side-plot dealing with Sheldon and his shrink, bringing a couple other issues into question (is all this actually happening, and/or was Sheldon the one truly responsible for his parent's murders?).

Lambert's novella may be a tad off key, but horror fans will still enjoy the thrills and eat it up nice and quick.

Dragons invade the Hood...

KING MAKER: THE KNIGHTS OF BRETON COURT I by Maurice Broaddus (2010 Amgry Robot Books / 385 pp. / mmp)

I'm a SUCKER for gang-related tales, be it WEST SIDE STORY, THE WARRIORS (both Sol Yurick's grim 1965 novel as well as the campy 1979 film version) or 'hood-classics such as MENACE TO SOCIETY and COLORS. By taking something like MENACE TO SOCIETY and mixing it with the legend of King Arthur, Maurice Broaddus has delivered an addictive read that's all its own.

About 20 years after his father (Luther) is gunned down by neighborhood rivals, King James White comes on the scene in an ever-decaying, drug-ravaged Indianapolis. What makes King stand out from other street people is his desire to see his neighborhood come together, as well as his unusually mature demeanor. Guided by the mysterious, riddle-talking homeless man Merle (the same man who had been at Luther's ear during his reign), King's first story follows his struggle to see who can be trusted and who should be avoided. Broaddus has a large cast here, but as someone who grew up fascinated with Mario Puzo's over-stuffed GODFATHER novels, I became aquainted with the different crews and characters here quite quickly. And we get some real interesting hood-dwellers, especially as the supernatural elements unfold (one duo, Michaela and Marshall, often consume those who stand in their way, "DAWN OF THE DEAD" -style).

As the inner-city turmoil mounts, a nasty form of heroin hits the streets and leads to a climax that's as action packed as it is violently horrific. And while this is a gang-themed novel, the focus is on its individuals and how they react to what they see in their own groups as well as their enemies' (although I'm betting we'll see more from full gang-standpoints as the series continues).

As with any novel hosting a large cast, there's some characters introduced that I'd like to see more of: Detective Octavia Burke was raised in the 'hood, yet she's a street-smart, strong role model not only for the local women but to all who think there's no future. Hopefully we'll see a lot more of her (the manner in which she relates to her hard-headed, caucasian male partner provides some of the best and more thought-provoking dialogue in the book).

KING MAKER's strength is its ability to stay true-to-life even when the fantasy components come into play; the reader has enough time to get invested in the urban drama yet won't find anything goofy when dragons, cannibals, and mystics are hinted at and eventually encountered.

Needless to say, I'm looking forward to where Broaddus goes from here (this Angry Robot edition also features the first three chapters of the next novel, and promises the next 2 novels will be released in 2011). Highly recommended.