Krall Unleashed

KING SCRATCH by Jordan Krall (2010 Black Rainbows Press / 102 pp. / tp)

From living sex dolls to squid/donkey hybrids to foot-fetish Westerns, Jordan Krall has quickly become a force to reckon with in the bizarro genre. Now you can add a redneck-golden-shower-squid-rape-crime drama to his ever-growing roster.

Easily one of Krall's strangest tales to date, KING SCRATCH is a demented trip through the seedy underworld of southern New Jersey. By the third chapter you'll feel like you're in a bizarro version of PULP FICTION as car crashes, stabbings, head explosions, and gruesome orifice insertions seem to follow the cast everywhere they go. Even good 'ol Abe Lincoln manages to get into the fun.

With a few interesting appendixes (after a nasty yet spectacular climax in the Hollywood hills), KING SCRATCH is a wild mix (or should I say, 'meltdown') of genres that'll have bizarro fans grinning from ear to ear. All others, beware.

Liquid Sky (The Novel)

LIQUID SKY by Anne Carlisle (1987 Dolphin Doubleday / 186 pp. / tp)

Author Carlisle (who also stars in the 1982 cult film of the same title) delivers this solid novelization that sheds a lot more light on the nature of the heroin-seeking aliens as well as the host of strange, night-club dwelling fashion models and artists.

Margaret is a fixture on the downtown nightlife scene of New York City. Her days are spent working as a fashion model (when she's not sleeping) and her nights are a non-stop party. Although she doesn't use heroin, she does indulge in cocaine and sex, and begins to grow weary of the men (and women, esepcially her room mate) who take advantage of her. One night a man dies as they have sex, and Margaret finds a crystal-shaped tube sticking from his head.

Across the street, a German scientist named Johann has managed to set his telescope up in Sylvia's apartment. He has been studying a small race of alien creatures who feed off of a heroin-like substance that forms in the human brain during orgasm. One of the alien crafts (the size of a dinner plate) has landed on Margaret's roof, and Johann witnesses the parade of her sex partners being killed one by one (the novel features even stronger drug use and sex scenes than the film).

You can tell Carlisle really has these characters down to a science (after all, she played Margaret AND Jimmy in the film version), and while the novel is ALMOST as strange as the film, it's a bit easier to follow due to Carlisle's prose--which at first I found hard to follow; the point of view switches nearly every other paragraph, and for the first few chapters it's a bit distracting. But in keeping with the odd-feel of the film, the POV-changes give LIQUID SKY a "cult-film" feel that actually works, especially during the final two chapters which play out much better (and are more satisfying) than the film.
If you're a fan of director Slava Tsukerman's freaked-out midnight classic, you'll truly enjoy Carlisle's literary version. If you're new to the world of Liquid Sky, you might enjoy the film more if you read this novel first.

(Below is author/actress Anne Carlisle in her dual role as Jimmy & Margaret from the 1982 film, LIQUID SKY).

(Arguably) the BEST of the Exorcist's Children

Released theatrically in the United States in 1974 in an edited version titled THE TEMPTER (see poster below), the fine folks at Anchor Bay deliver this fully restored version as THE ANTICHRIST. And unlike nearly every-other film that was inspired by THE EXORCIST, Director Alberto De Martino took his version seriously, and the final result is a very well made possession epic that owes as much to HORROR HOTEL (1960) as it does to Linda Blair's pea-soup-spewing classic.

A wheel chair-bound woman (paralyzed since she was 12 due to a car accident) lives in Rome in an enormous mansion with her father, brother, and faithful housekeeper. But this wealthy family has a wicked skeleton in their closet; one of their ancestors (on the eve she became a nun) left the convent for unknown reasons and joined a satanic coven. Sentenced to burn at the stake by a group of Monks, she begs God for forgiveness as the flames take her.

Flash Forward 400 years. This same demon returns to possesses our protagonist, who begins to lose faith in God after a visit to a shrine of the Virgin Mary fails to work. In a seriously disturbing sequence (which was cut from the original American release), we see our paralyzed victim being raped by a demon as she is shown visions of her ancestor's induction into Satan's coven (complete with a mock communion and a goat-licking thing I'd rather forget!). While what follows is standard "Exorcist rip-off" fare, it's done quite effectively thanks to Martino's skillful direction and some great cinematography courtesy of (future) horror/sleaze legend Joe D'Amato.

While THE ANTICHRIST provides one or two unintentional laughs, the above average acting (especially on the part of Carla Gravina) helps the film to work quite well as a serious horror outing.

This Anchor Bay edition features a short (but informative) interview with the director.

Toenails and Robots

MY FAKE WAR by Andersen Prunty (2010 Eraserhead Press / 112 pp. / tp)

Loner Saul Dressing is interrupted one night by a knock at his door. A stranger wearing military fatigues forcibly drafts him into the Army of the United States of Everything. He soon parachutes (also forcibly) into an unknown country known as Grisnos with one objective: to get one of its citizens to start with him so the U.S.E. can declare war on them. The only problem is Saul becomes friends with the first person he meets, a lizard-man named Bob Weathers (who also happens to be the ONLY inhabitant of the desert-country of Grisnos). What follows is another surreal and absurd ride that fans of the author have come to expect.

Along with its Thinking Flying Giant Robot, disgustingly long toe nails, pretend houses, people, and food, as well as one cool military-issued super rifle, MY FAKE WAR serves as a metaphor for the current state of international affairs. It also serves bizarro fans with yet another memorable read. Prunty shows no signs of slowing down.

Suburban Grindhouse Memories Vol. 6

The latest installment of my trash-film column is now LIVE over at CINEMA KNIFE FIGHT:

http://cinemaknifefight.com/2010/06/24/suburban-grindhouse-memories-hitch-hike-to-hell/

Wait till you see who popped up in this seldom-seen epic!

Girls, Guns, and Robo-Cats!

Cop-on-the-run Rook is back in this second installment of Christopher Rowley's "Heavy Metal Pulp" series. This time we find out (slightly) more about what makes Rook's Pleasure Model, Plesur, tick, and like any good scifi pulp novel this one's packed with non-stop action, violence, and a couple of intense fight scenes when Rook is captured by a New Jersey gang lord. Add a plus here for a wickedly cool 8-foot long robo-cat sent to collect our heroes as they attempt to discover what to...more THE BLOODSTAINED MAN by Christopher Rowley (2010 TOR / 252 pp. / tp)

Cop-on-the-run Rook is back in this second installment of Christopher Rowley's "Heavy Metal Pulp" series. This time we find out (slightly) more about what makes Rook's Pleasure Model, Plesur, tick, and like any good scifi pulp novel this one's packed with non-stop action, violence, and a couple of intense fight scenes when Rook is captured by a New Jersey gang lord. Add a plus here for a wickedly cool 8-foot long robo-cat sent to collect our heroes as they attempt to discover what top secret info. the government is hiding inside Plesur's memory.

Like the first in the series, THE BLOODSTAINED MAN is testosterone-fueled thrill ride that will appeal to fans of the long running illustrated Heavy Metal magazine (note this is a "regular" novel with some graphic novel quality artwork scattered around each chapter courtesy of Justin Norman). This one ends on a cliff hanger that'll surely bring any reader back for the promised 3rd novel, "Money Shot."

Gut-Munching with Brains...

THE NEW DEAD edited by Christopher Golden (2010 St. Martin's Griffin / 384 pp. / tp)

When I first heard about this book, the first thing I thought was, "Just what the world needs...another zombie anthology.” And in case you’ve been on another planet for the past 5 years or so, zombie anthologies seem to come out every other month from both the small and large press. So I read editor Chris Golden’s short & sweet introduction then began my journey through yet another collection of reanimated horror, hoping it wouldn’t be the same old, same old.

It turns out there’s some real gems here (not TOO surprising, given the caliber of contributors). Among the more memorable stories are David Liss’ ‘What Maisie Knew,’ about a married man who keeps a zombie girlfriend in a separate apartment; ‘In the Dust,’ Tim Lebbon’s look at a small group of people who commit to keeping their small town clear of the undead; Kelley Armstrong’s ‘Life Sentence’ about a man’s attempt to overcome cancer in a most unusual way, and Jonathan Mayberry’s ‘Family Business’ is easily one of the best here, and is one of the more emotionally-charged zombie stories I’ve ever read.

While M.B. Homler’s ‘The Zombie Who Fell From the Sky’ basically follows a “Crazies”-type scenario, it’s well done and manages to work on several levels; In Rick Hautala’s ‘Ghost Trap,’ a corpse is discovered chained to a cement block 50 feet below the sea. This turned out to be the scariest tale here, and if you fear the deep you’ll probably agree. James A. Moore’s ‘Kids and Their Toys’ is a nasty one featuring kids who find a zombie and keep it tied up as their “plaything.” All’s well until one of the group shows he has a conscience.

Of these 19 stories, the two that impressed me the most go to Joe Hill, whose ‘Twittering from the Circus of the Dead’ is told in tweets by a young girl as her family comes across (and then attend) a strange circus, and THE best goes to the legendary Joe R. Lansdale: in his ‘Shooting Pool,’ what seems like an innocent game of pool-gone-bad becomes so much more. I think I was halfway through the next story in the collection when it FINALLY hit me that I had just read a ZOMBIE story. This is the kind of tale that readers thirst for and writers dream of coming up with. Bravo.

THE NEW DEAD, while featuring a couple of so-so entries, is a huge cut above your standard walking (or running) dead anthology and should easily be enjoyed by zombie fans seeking something different.

A Really HAIRY Collection

ANIMAL BEHAVIOR AND OTHER TALES OF LYCANTHROPY by Keith Gouveia (2010 Coscom Entertainment / 179 pp. / tp and e-book)

Gouveia ('Revolt of the Dead') delivers 11 tales of shape-shifting, flesh-ripping werewolf goodness (10 being presented here for the first time).

Among my faves were the opener, "The Beast of Garden Row,' where a failed exorcism leads to an unusual life for one Catholic priest; 'The Wolf Maiden,' where a werewolf comes to the aid of a neglected baby; 'Dance of the Wolf,' in which a high school prom becomes a feeding ground, and 'War Dog,' where soldiers-in-training get more than they bargained for (including a nice twist ending). 'Lady of the Forest' (the only previously published piece), though easy to see where it's headed, is a well-done tale and easy to see why this is its third time in print.

While the horror world is still waiting for the predicted werewolf revival, ANIMAL BEHAVIOR is a fine collection for any lycanthrope (or fan of old-school monster stories) to sink their teeth into.

My Current Comic Craze

Dark Horse's CONAN THE CIMMERIAN has been kicking it full-throttle with their latest adventures of Robert E. Howard's legendary barbarian. Issue 21 (see cover below) ended a great 3-issue storyline with a gore-filled blast featuring the fantastic art of Tomas Giorello.

After their 8-issue mini series BLACKEST NIGHT, DC Comics immediately went into a sequel, BRIGHTEST DAY. In the first three issues, 12 heroes have been de-zombified and are currently attempting to deal with their altered powers and a host of issues that will (hopefully) be as thought-provoking as those opened up in BLACKEST NIGHT.

And, just when I thought I couldn't stomach another zombie story, along comes Vertigo's iZOMBIE, about a female grave digger (who's a zombie) and her 1960's-era looking ghost girlfriend and a host of other intriguing characters. Although the first 2 issues have basically laid the foundation for things to come, there's just something different about this one. It has some great potential.

Apex Publications Brings the Goods...

DARK FAITH edited by Maurice Broaddus & Jerry Gordon (2010 Apex Publications / 375 pp. / tp)

These 31 all-new stories and poems explore not just religious, but several kinds of faith from many different angles.

After Linda D. Addison's opening psuedo-Genesis poem, Jennifer Pelland's 'Ghosts of New York' gets things off to an intense start; this one tells the tale of a woman who continually finds herself jumping from a skyscraper, soon to learn she's among those who were killed on 9/11.

Brian Keene's 'I Sing A New Psalm' is like a religious version of Steve Gerlach's novel RAGE (with an ending that's equally as depressing; while not my cup of tea it does make a strong point); Wrath James White's judgment day story, 'He Who Would Not Bow,' deals with a group of people who learn they might be able to kill God who is now here on earth; the ending took me by surprise. In 'Zen and the Art of Dratch's Damnation,' Douglas F. Warwick takes a disturbing look at one man's suffering in the afterlife (along with the sarcastic beings who taunt him).

I always thought most pictures of Jesus made him look like a California Surfer Dude. Kyle S. Johnson pictures him that way in his apocalyptic 'Go and Tell it on the Mountain,' where--to the surprise of a man who lived a good life but didn't follow any religion--Christ appears as a bored, cigarette-smoking, disobedient man who has returned to tell some people the truth (that there's nothing after this world) and various lies (He takes pleasure in telling former religious people all kinds of weird theories). Eliyanna Kaiser brings the goods with 'Different From Other Nights,' where a young Jewish girl takes her seder and passover a bit more literally than her rabbi. Another short & (un)sweet poem by Rain Graves doubles as an intro of sorts to Nick Mamatas' dazzling 'The Last Words of Dutch Schultz Jesus Christ,' which explores the effects of an obscure movie known as The God Film.

In the bizarre 'To the Jerusalem Crater' by Lavie Tidhar, a young boy goes on a journey of spiritual awakening, while Matt Cardin's 'Chimeras & Grotesqueries' deals with someone who becomes a bit too influenced by their favorite author. Ekaterina Sedia's 'You Dream' is a gloomy (and absorbing) faith-hunt set in Moscow while Jay Lake's 'Mother Urban's Booke of Days' gives a young man the ability to control his surroundings.

'The Mad Eyes of the Heron King' is one of the creepier entries here as Richard Dansky delivers a morbid tale of judgment. D.T. Friedman's entertaining 'Paint Box, Puzzle Box' features an artist who manages to escape death through the worlds he creates in his paintings, while J.C. Hays' 'A Loss for Words' looks at an author who pays a prostitute by writing original stories on her flesh (and, yes, this one goes deep); in another author-themed story, the always-reliable Tom Piccirilli strikes with 'Scrawl,' about a nerdy-looking erotica writer who finds inspiration with a mistress during a convention.

Kelli Dunlap's 'Good Enough' is a May/Pieces-ish serial killer/suicide yarn that more than lives up to its title, while Geoffrey Girard's 'First Communion' (another one dealing with suicide) takes a dark look at missed love. In 'The God of Last Moments,' Alethea Kontis explores an icon and a (literal) inner demon, then Mary Robinette Kowal's Norse God fable 'Ring Road' will surely leave you heart-broken.

Chesya Burke's impressive 'The Unremembered' is a richly-symbolic take on miracles, culture, and the importance of oral tradition, then SS-bred slug creatures mix with an acceptance-based theme in Lucien Soulban's 'The Choir.'

What would any modern horror anthology be without a zombie story? Thankfully, 'The Days of Flaming Motorcycles' by Catherynne M. Valente is a fresh, funny, and creepy take on them. Lucy A. Snyder's 'Miz Ruthie Pays Her Respects' will surely knock some readers for a loop, while Kurt Dinan's 'Paranoia" turned out to be my favorite poem of the lot.

'Hush' by Kelly Barnhill manages to sneak in a fine haunted house story while Richard Wright's 'Sandboys' explores the faith of a father who truly believes he'll again see the son who was taken from him again.

Gary A. Braunbeck provides the end piece with another Cedar Hill story titled 'For My Next Trick I'll Need a Volunteer.' This study on good and evil features Detective Bill Emerson contemplating a violent child abuse case, being taken on a surreal journey by The Reverend. With Gary's trademark roller-coaster-ride of emotions and ideas on display, those eagerly awaiting his next Cedar Hill novel will find this to be quite the fix.

At times surprising, scary, humorous and almost always thought provoking, DARK FAITH is a must read for fans of religious horror and those seeking some chills of a deeper nature.

Scary and Smart

Completely absorbing from start to finish, this nifty documentary gives the back-story of an urban legend then quickly develops into a true crime story. The viewer is given both sides of the Andre Rand case, a man accused of kidnapping and killing several mentally disabled Staten Island children during the 1980s (he's been in jail since 1987 despite only circumstancial evidence brought against him).

With testimonies from witnesses, detectives, and some chilling footage shot for a 1987 Giraldo Rivera special, CROPSEY will give you goosebumps while you try to decide where you stand on the story.

I'm looking forward to seeing this again.

A Lost, Genuine Grindhouse Classic Surfaces

Inspired by THE GODFATHER, director, writer, and actor Duke Mitchell tried his own hand at a gangster film, and in 1978, his violent THE EXECUTIONER was released (the film is more commonly known as MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE). The low-budget Video Gems label released THE EXECUTIONER on VHS in the mid-80s, while a double-disc DVD came out a few years ago and sold out of its limited edition. Hence, few people can actually say they’ve seen this film.

Flash forward to 2009: The always-seeking-for-another-classic psychos at Grindhouse Releasing manage to get in touch with (the late) Duke Mitchell’s family and are granted access to his archives. Among the goodies was a never-released sequel (of sorts) to MASSACRE MAFIA STYLE, titled GONE WITH THE POPE. Currently on a 35mm-print tour of the U.S.A., I attended a midnight screening in NYC with a few buddies, and needless to say, the entire audience seemed to love this lost underground mobster movie.

When life-long criminal Paulie (played by Mitchell) gets out of prison (the film claims he did 15, then later 20 years, so take your pick), he goes to Vegas (I’m assuming they shot most of these scenes without permission) and manages to take out 7 guys (who I’m assuming were part of a rival family…the audio in the theater was ridiculously low for some reason) and then spends one last night with his wife before going on a lengthy trip to Rome.

With 3 members of his crew, Paulie sets out (on his wife’s yacht) on a 48-day cruise from California to Italy, mapping their course with nothing more than an atlas and an ancient piece of nautical equipment (which we see him use once). While having espresso at a bistro in Rome, Paulie explains why they’re here: They’re going to kidnap the pope, then charge a dollar from every Catholic in the world as ransom (when his buddy tells him, “But what about all the Chinese?”, Paulie agrees to drop the fee to 50 cents). But before doing their task, Paulie tries to get one of his prison-partners laid (and brings an obese woman back to their hotel room in one of the most disturbing—and hilarious—scenes I’ve ever seen).

After dressing as priests and abducting his holiness, the men keep the pontiff on their yacht as their ransom message goes out. During this time, The pope manages to talk sense into the whole crew, except for Paulie, who tells the pope he thinks the Catholic church is a scam, citing reasons such as their not doing enough to help all the poor children in the world and the Catholic church’s silence over the slaughter of 6 million Jews during World War 2 (hey—even Vito Corelone didn’t get this deep!). Paulie agrees to let the pope go back to Rome with his two friends, but swears that if he doesn’t take care of them, he’ll kill 100 priests “as revenge for the Jews!” (Folks---the quotability of this movie is endless).

Paulie manages to get back to America where he finds one of his best friends has been whacked. He takes out those responsible, then keeps his promise to the pope of lighting a candle on Christmas Eve. The film ends where a couple of supernatural occurrences go down as Paulie keeps his promise in a local church, and Paulie runs out in terror—leaving the audience to debate if Paulie has seen the light or has been rejected by the church.

GONE WITH THE POPE is a lost, “authentic” grindhouse film. It’s a fine example of everything we, the lovers of trash cinema, love about trash cinema: the plot is all over the place, there’s enough bad acting to rival anything H.G. Lewis or Ed Wood has done, it’s chock full of horrible 70s staples (polyester suits, bad make-up on the ladies, an acid-rock soundtrack, plenty of super-politically incorrect dialogue which, again, had the audience in hysterics).

I’m now on a mission to find the first film, MAFIA MASSACRE STYLE (which one article I read said is a stand-alone film and not a prequel to GONE WITH THE POPE). Duke Mitchell has only left behind these two Godfather-esque films, and although I’ve only seen the second one, he has managed to muscle his way into my exploitation film hall of fame.This sucker’s PRICELESS.

The Kult Kills...

THE KULT by Shaun Jeffrey (2009 Leucrota Press / 328 pp. / tp)

When Prosper Snow and his friends were kids, they made a pact to stick up for each other should any one of them get bullied. It helped them get through school with little trouble.

Flash forward to today: Prosper is now a police officer whose town is being stalked by a vicious serial killer; this nutjob takes photos of his mutliated victims, sends them to the police, and along with his partner Jill, Prosper begins to find clues in the morbid pictures. Things get challenging when one of Prosper's old friends arrives, claiming he needs help: his wife was raped, and he won't be satisfied until the perp is killed. Propser--reluctantly--and after repeated reminders of the pact they all took--agrees to help his old crew (known as 'The Kult') murder the rapist and then frame it on the still at-large serial killer. Needless to say, the killer finds out about this quickly and all hell breaks loose.

THE KULT could easily sit alongside any top-notch mainstream cop thriller; while it has elements of horror and some police procedural, its Jeffrey's wicked, edge-of-your-seat suspense that makes this one shine.

While Jeffrey kept me guessing who the killer was until the same line it was revealed (EVERYONE is a suspect here), the similarity to the ending of the first 'SAW' film was a bit obvious. Regardless, These 328 pages flew by and I couldn't get enough.

DON now available at Smashwords

For the insanely low price of $5.99, you can now check out my debut novel, DON OF THE DEAD, in various e-editions: https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/15858?ref=coscomentertainment (There's also links to available print editions on this link, too).

Get ready to be SLASHED...

BUTCHER KNIVES AND BODY COUNTS is a 70-author (!) non-fiction film book coming October, 2010 from Dark Scribe Press (http://darkscribepress.com/).

Artist Deena Warner produced this eye-catching (gouging?) cover, and I'm thrilled to be part of this as I get to rant about what I believe is one of the best, most disturbing slasher films of all time: Romano Scavolin's NIGHTMARE (1981, a.k.a. NIGHTMARES IN A DAMAGED BRAIN). I understand the seldom heard-from Mr. Scavolini will have a piece in this, too.

These BOOTS are Made for CONSPIRACIES

10 A BOOT 20 A HUMAN FACE 30 GOTO 10 by Jess Gulbranson (2010 Legumeman Books / 151 pp. / tp)

Eric works in an old-school record shop that's owned by two lesbians. He seemingly eats pizza for each meal of the day and lives for his music, but basically has a normal life. When he's left to close the store one day, an older man comes in asking if he could hang a picture of his missing niece, Nelly Jones. The man posts the flier then leaves.

When Eric begins seeing these fliers all over town, he rips one down and Nelly seemingly appears to him out of nowhere---right before the old man discovers him removing his fliers and beats him to within an inch of his life. Eric wakes up in the hospital with the old man and a detective, and what follows is a quirky, oddball, paranormal-scifi story that I ripped through in 2 brief sittings.

Some-kind of alien creature (who lives in "The Void") manages to communicate with some of earth's autistic children, and Eric finds himself dragged into an apocalyptic conspiracy that, while a bit unclear, manages to entertain. Gulbranson's novella is a bit all-over the place, but is so much fun the loose ends are easily forgiveable. PLUS, how many novellas feature appearances from the ghosts of Joy Division's Ian Curtis and Jim Morrison, not to mention Graceland itself being blown to smithereens?

Bizarro (and music) fans should dig this.