Every once in a very blue moon an album is released that you can’t get enough of. I can list maybe a dozen that I can listen to from start to finish, albums that I never get tired of, where there’s no filler and every second both counts and means something (be it just to you or the world).
In April of 2009, a very blue moon must’ve been in orbit. The sixth studio album from Kristeen Young (“Music for Strippers, Hookers, and the Odd-Onlooker”) was released. I had heard a few songs from it at her live shows around the NY area, some which she had been performing for over two years.
While I’ve enjoyed every release from Kristeen Young, from her 1999 debut (‘Meet Miss Young and her All Boy Band’) to her crushing and emotional 2007 ‘The Orphans,’ it’s her latest that, I believe, is not only her finest collection of songs to date, but EASILY the best CD since so far this millennium.
I immediately burned the CD onto my ipod upon receiving it (early pre-orders were mailed by Kristeen herself). I sat back with the lyrics and absorbed the entire 14-song album from start to finish. I then went back to the first track and listened to the entire album for a second time without reading along with the lyrics, savoring everyone of Kristeen’s keyboard notes and (drummer) Baby Jef White’s unique beats. As of this writing (September 8, 2009), I’ve listened to ‘Music for Strippers, Hookers, and the Odd-Onlooker’ over 50 times in its entirety, plus select tracks (probably) over a hundred times or more.
The first three songs, ‘Son of Man,’ The Depression Contest,’ and ‘Stop Thinking,’ are each upbeat, hard-rocking blasts of controlled aggression. Anyone who begins an album with the words, “Never again will I let you in,” apparently isn’t in this to make friends or too worried about turning off potential converts. I could never understand why so many albums begin on an upbeat note then go directly to a sappy ballad or slow-tempo snoozer—it’s this powerful 3-song opening that drew me right in. If these don’t get you going you’re either deaf or dead.
Track four, ‘Everyone Wants me to Cry,’ is a brief “break” from the up-tempo, but not the emotion; the thing that initially attracted me to KY was her ability to keep me entertained during slow numbers (the only other artists able to do this for me for more than one song at a time are Gary Numan and Peter Murphy). Kristeen’s voice mesmerizes from beginning to end here, and this one acts as a nice catalyst to ‘You Must Love Me.’ At 2:10 into this song, when KY sings the song title (for the 2nd time during the 2nd chorus), chills will run up, down and across your back. I’ve never heard her sing more passionately than this before.
Track six, ‘That’s What it Takes, Dear’ (a duet with Patrick Vaughn Stump from Fallout Boy), is the one single that has potential for commercial success (and I guarantee if any DJ at any mainstream radio station had the balls to play this, the phone lines would light up like Times Square on New Year’s Eve). A powerful exchange of thoughts accented by Kristeen’s opera-like voice and Jef’s pounding floor toms.
‘I Won’t be Home for Christmas’ is a sad but inspiring march/ode to independence, complete with a soothing keyboard line and some guest work (by Ted Leo) on percussion. Kristeen lets us know that “My love’s far off, yet, right before me.” Brilliant.
Fans of KY got a charge out of a quote she had posted online comparing her music to the scene in ‘Caligula’ where a giant, armored wall decapitates the heads of buried prisoners. ‘Comfort is Never a Goal’ is the song I thought of the second I read this. It’s dark, onslaught-keyboards and stop-and-start drum line has made it one of my all-time favorite songs by KY; if there was ever a modern song that proved the piano truly is a rock-n-roll instrument, this is it.
Sexy, addicting, and even spooky, ‘He’s Sickened by My Crude Emotion’ is the cry of an irritated lover attempting to deal with her partner’s lack of interest. There’s a haunting pre-and-post chorus keyboard run that acts like a precursor to the main riff in the final track (‘Halfway Across the Atlantic Ocean’) that provides a wonderful, latent tie-up for the second half of the album.
The brief tenth track, an instrumental titled ‘Lily Sincere,’ is a gloomy transition/breather before the strangest offering here, ‘Keyboard Like a Gun.’ With its bizarre time signatures, this mockery of Internet culture is simply unforgettable and brings to mind some of KY’s older obscure offerings such as ‘Corpulent and Indolent’ and ‘Have You Ever Worked with Anything Hi-Tek?’ Love it love it love it.
‘If You Marry Him’ reminds me of an AC/DC song—not that it’s “heavy” but in its simplicity. A catchy 1-1234-1234-1234 riff carries much of the song and gives it a highly re-listenable, uber-rockin’ edge.
Track thirteen, ‘Protestant,’ is one of the deepest songs (lyrically) on the album. KY recalls her youth, meeting in places that looked nothing like a church while everyone else attended attractive cathedrals. Her thoughts go from observances of religious upbringing to past could-be lovers and desires. Set within several sections, it’s one of the more complex musical pieces here, and one I never tire of hearing (especially live).
There aren’t enough good things that can be said about the powerful closer, ‘Halfway Across the Atlantic Ocean.’ I can’t remember the last time I was this thrilled and taken back by a ballad (maybe Pink Floyd’s ‘One of My Turns’?). Images of colorful, vast expanses will flood your head throughout the entire song as KY’s vocals and eerily-beautiful keyboards command attention while Jef’s drum-roll-into power-stomp-jam keeps your blood flowing.
I want more every single time this CD ends.
Produced by the legendary Tony Visconti, ‘Music For Strippers, Hookers, and the Odd-Onlooker’ has carved a place in my heart and soul that few others have.
Or could. ‘Tis a true classic.
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