These Ghosts'll Crack You Up

ELSEWHERE by William Peter Blatty (2009 Cemetery Dance Publications / 222 pp. / hc)

Originally released in 1999, CDP releases this small (but 'purdy) hardcover, complete with spooky interior illustrations by Alex McVey.

Real Estate agent / Manhattanite Joan Freeboard has a problem; she has to sell an isolated old house (located across from the city on a small Hudson-island) that holds a dark past. She manages to get a clairvoyant and a snobby writer friend to go with her and try to get to the bottom of the alleged hauntings.

This short novel from legendary author William Peter Blatty (THE EXORCIST) is a standard by-the-numbers haunted house yarn, complete with a 50's VAULT OF HORROR-type "surprise" ending that made my eyes involuntarily roll. BUT: what saves the day here is all the humor; in fact, if I didn't know better I'd think this was originally meant to be a satire on the haunted house subgenre. There's plenty of nifty sarcastic dialogue and eccentric characters to make this standard spookhouse a decent, quick read. Just don't expect anything you haven't read before (ghost/haunt-wise).

Slash and Snore...

SHADOW OF THE DARK ANGEL by Gene O'Neill (2009 Bad Moon Books / 284 pp. / hc / limited to 100 copies)

Two detectives, Katy Green and Johnny Cato (dubbed by the media as "The Green Hornet and Cato") are on the trail of a serial killer who slashes his victims' throats then takes a swatch of their pubic (and when he has time, scalp) hair as souvenirs. The killer, Sam, is haunted by a Dark Angel and on occassion, The Light Angel. The Dark Angel gives Sam the ability to hide in the shadows, making him virtually invisible to his victims (even in broad daylight in a public park toward the conclusion). The death scenes are done standard thriller-genre-style, perhaps with a little more sauce than a mainstream novel. There's the expected relationship between Katy and John, and much time is spent in flashbacks that could've been cut down way shorter than they are. The author's main characters come from foster home backgrounds, I guess in an attempt to give them a grittier-feel (?) and most of the "hood language" (which thankfully is used at a minimum) just doesn't work.

Despite the fantastic cover art by John Pierro (which gives this novel a deeper feel than it delivers), SHADOW OF THE DARK ANGEL is a generic serial-killer yarn with an ever-so slight supernatural bend.

While I'm a big fan of the publisher (who usually release top-notch pieces of fiction), I think the $60.00 cover price is quite steep, even for a limited edition hardcover (especially considering this was previously released in 2003 as an affordable paperback from Dominion, which wasn't mentioned on the copyright page).

For by-the-numbers serial killer fans only.

SHATNERQUAKE by Jeff Burk (2009 Eraserhead Press / 83 pp. / tp)

William Shatner is the guest of honor at "Shatnercon," a convention dedicated to everything Shatner; from his classic Twilight Zone episode, to Star Trek, through his TV roles on TJ Hooker and Rescue 9-1-1, right up to his role as a super-lawyer on Boston Legal. As Shatner signs autographs for an endless line of maniacal fans, a Campellian (those who worship actor Bruce Campbell and feel Shatner is a false messiah) sets off a "fiction bomb," a sedlom-used terrorist device that has the ability to turn ficton-media in its immediate vicinity into reality. The bomb goes off backstage behind several screens showing William Shatner films and TV clips. Before long, many of the characters Shatner has played over the years come alive---and go after the actor who gave them fictional life. (I have to admit I kept waiting for "redneck" Shatner from 1977's KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS to show, but I guess if Burke used every little character Shatner has played the book would've been over 500 pages!).

What follows is one HYSTERICAL, bizarro/action romp that had me laughing on nearly every page, especially one scene where Shatner uses the original Twilight Zone-ambulance to try and escape an attack from TJ Hooker (yes--this book goes there and FAR beyond).

My only drawback was Burk's use of the Real Shatner's dialogue; in nearly every sentence he speaks like...Captain Kirk...did...on...the classic...TV show. It worked for the first half, then became a bit worn out. But despite this minor irritant, I can't see anyone not getting a real charge out of this (and IF he ever reads it, I think Shatner hmself would approve--especially after the author's heartfelt open-letter/introduction).

Add a HUGE plus here for a light-sabre-weilding Kirk attacking a room full of Bruce-worshipers whle the scene is narrarated by Rescue 9-1-1- Shatner.

SHATNERQUAKE is a truly outrageous laugh-riot (let's just hope the author doesn't get sued for using so many copyrighted characters without permission!).

SciFi and Horror meet . . . DRUGS!

FRESH BLOOD: TALES FROM THE SPECULATIVE GRAVEYARD by Lawrence R. Dagstine (2009 Sam's Dot Publishing / 158 pp. / tp)

This collection of 13 stories (6 presented here for the first time) range from horror to scifi to dark fantasy. Among the more memorable:

THE OLD BOY'S CLUB, about an initiation into a ghost-based organization; HEART OF CEMENT, which will creep out anyone with a scorpion phobia, and my favorite, THE ICE MINES OF PLUTO, about an intergalactic drug-trade-raid gone wrong.

I enjoyed the author's three zombie tales: THURSDAY CHILD and ZOMBIE CAMP each use reanimated children to macabre effect, and NOT EVERYBODY'S HOBBY imagines what it would be like if undead drug addicts still craved dope in-between their lust for flesh. GERALDINE'S ADDICTION looks at the "addict" side of being a vampire, complete with a (literally) heart-breaking conclusion. Being the two strongest pieces here, perhaps the author should explore an addiction-theme in a novella or novel?

Dagstine's writing is quick and to the point, and the stories flow quite well despite the genre jumping. A solid, entertaining collection.

The Second Time's the Charm

SACRIFICE by John Everson (2009 Leisure Books / 321 pp. / mmp)

Everson's sequel to his Stoker-winning debut novel COVENANT picks up shortly after Joe leaves the town of Terrel. Now living with the demon Malachai (that he allowed to enter his body to save the woman he loved), he meets up with a cute young runaway (Alex) who is able to see and talk to spirits, and together they travel cross-country, following a bloody path left by a savage female serial killer who is attempting to release a nasty, perverse race of demons known as "Curburide" into the world.

Although Malachai partially guides Joe and his new friend (and potential lover) Alex on their quest, time's running out, and young Alex quickly learns to use her witch-like powers to get them to the site of the killer's final sacrifice: (surprise, surprise!): Terrel. One chapter dealing with Alex's past is utterly horrific and heartbreaking, and Everson's frequent use of flashbacks don't slow the tale down for a second.

SACRIFICE is told at a brisk pace, is packed with extreme violence, unique ghosts, and an antagonist (Ariana) who just may be one of the most disturbing female characters to slash her way through a horror novel in many a bloody moon.

Perhaps a bit like an adult version of the classic cult film CARNIVAL OF SOULS, Everson has truly made his mark on the genre and is taking no prisoners; SACRIFICE is hardcore horror that passes its predecessor by bounds.

The squeamish need not apply.

Back to the Beach

THE SHORE by Robert Dunbar (to be released 7/09 by Leisure books / 319 pp. / mmp)

Dunbar's long-awaited sequel to his 1989 cult classic THE PINES finally makes its mass market debut (after a limited edition small press run from Delirium Books).

When a series of gruesome murders hit the small coastal town of Edgeharbor, NJ, policewoman Katherine "Kit" Lonergan begins to investigate---and her interest grows deeper when she learns the killer just may be a legendary creature, although she doesn't want to believe something so far-fetched.

Despite Dunbar's fantastic, poetic writing style, I must admit that I found the first 200 pages to be a bit slow-paced, and I began to worry this just wasn't going to live up to THE PINES. BUT, this is exactly when Dunbar lets the bottom drop out, and by employing an eerie Jersey Devil/werewolf mythos, a bar scene of strange locals reminiscent of THE WICKER MAN, and an X-Files-type incestuous family-plot, THE SHORE's final 100 pages bust loose with some edge-of-your seat suspense and chills that made sludging through the first 70% well worth it (not to mention a finale on a sinking boardwalk that's to die for).

I was happy to finally spend time at Dunbar's SHORE; I just wish it didn't take so long for the chills to kick in (although I have to give two huge thumbs up for chapter 15: it'll scare the devil outta ya!).

The BEST magazine you're (probably) not reading...

I've been reviewing the UK's BLACK STATIC magazine since the first issue for THE HORROR FICTION REVIEW, but with this 10th issue they've really hit their stride.

On top of the top-notch fiction (the best here being from Gary McMahon and James Cooper, although all 6 tales are fantastic, its the movie and book reviews that made this zine so good; insightful, honest, and informative, BLACK STATIC's reviewers are apparently big fans of horror and dark fantasy and are seeking to give solid advice.

And best of all, this impressive magazine (so far) has always come out on schedule. Check it out at ttapress.com.

In a nutshell, Kilborn's AFRAID is THE CRAZIES meets RAMBO (5 Rambos, actually) on sonic steroids! This novel reads so quickly you just might get whiplash.

The non-stop action never gets old as the author continues to push new buttons with each chapter (not to mention you'll acually care for the charachters---even the beyond-twisted antagonists).

While I'd consider this more of an action novel than horror, the horror is there and at times it's quite extreme. You'll have a BLAST with this puppy.

I'm looking very forward to Klborn's next novel (there's a sample of it included here).

Blurb from Simon Clark

I was quite happy to receive the following blurb for my forthcoming debut novel:



"DON OF THE DEAD is violent, visceral and fascinating - a comedy darker than heart blood."

-Simon Clark, author of Blood Crazy and The Midnight Man




Woo-Hoo!