An ORGY of Writing

Being an employee of the NYCBOE, I have today and tomorrow off for the Jewish holidays (yay!), and I spent today re-working my novel DON OF THE DEAD as I'll be sending it to a potential publisher soon. From 7:45 a.m. until 8:30 p.m. I worked non-stop, stopping only to heat up 2 hot pockets for lunch (hey, my cholesterol was down so I figured why not) and to take brief jumps around the living room to get blood back into my ass.

I'm diving back in in a few minutes. Does anyone know a good lower-back massage therapist around the NY area?

-also-

Yesterday I was told that the book THE ULTIMATE SLASHER MOVIES, VOLUME ONE has been picked up by a new press and will be released under another title. The book contains my brief story dealing with the film NIGHTMARE (1981). For the full story, see my 9/29 blog at www.myspace.com/nickcato

The Return of Avery Cates

THE DIGITAL PLAGUE by Jeff Somers (2008 Orbit / 358 pp. / hc)

After destroying THE ELECTRIC CHURCH in his first adventure, anti-hero Avery Cates returns in Somers' second installment of this dark, gritty scifi series.

Someone injects Cates with a mysterious substance--the same substance that has begun to kill off others like a mix of cancer and ebola. With the help of some new "System Pigs" (a.k.a. the police) and a super-nerdy "techie," Cates learns he has been selected as the host to a DIGITAL PLAGUE, i.e. cell-sized nanobots who self-replicate until their victims die a most horrendous death. Those who come within eight (or so) feet of Cates instantly catch the plague, but those who STAY with him remain okay until they leave his presence (hence why our small crew stays close together throughout the novel).

From brutal fights and shoot-outs in the streets of New York (this series has the feel of a more hardcore BLADERUNNER), Cates and the cops (all who'd like to kill him, by the way) grab a hover craft to Paris, France, where the secret to who injected him (and began this plague) may be found. Along the way there's run-ins with various freaks, geeks, and even some Monks who survived the Electric Church's downfall.

THE DIGITAL PLAGUE is every bit as good as THE ELECTRIC CHURCH; horror fans will (probably) enjoy the extreme violence, scifi fans will dig the technobabble (that's thankfully kept to a minimum), and there's so much action it's nearly impossible to put this one down for a second. Just be warned that there's more profanity in this series than GOODFELLAS and WHITE MEN CAN'T JUMP combined!

THE ETERNAL PRISON, Somers' third in the series, is due in the Spring of 2009.

Shipp Strikes Again

SHEEP AND WOLVES by Jeremy C. Shipp (to be released 11/08 by RAW DOG SCREAMING PRESS / 160 PP. / hc & tp)

Shipp, author of the ultra-bizarre debut novel VACATION, delivers his first short story collection, featuring 17 tales, 7 of which are presented here for the first time (the 10 re-prints come from publications so various there's a good chance this will be all-new to most readers). I once called Shipp one of the more "bizarre of the bizarro writers," and with SHEEP AND WOLVES, he really lives up to that title.

My favorites were the opening mind-bender, WATCHING, a surreal suspense story that sets the bar of this collection quite high, and INSIDE, an extremely dark look at the food service industry (although I'm sure the author has an even darker, hidden meaning that'll hit me in a few weeks). Other memorable stories include AMERICAN SHEEP, BABY EDWARD, THOSE BELOW and the amazing SIN EARTH, a strange neo-mythical folk tale full of razor-sharp prose that'll leave you in a dream-like state.

While most of Shipp's stories will satisfy bizarro fans and those seeking something out of the ordinary, a few are perhaps a little TOO strange (such as the final, 32-paged novella FLAPJACK, which literally gave me a headache as I tried to put the pieces together). Thankfully, these few head-scratchers are also when Shipp's oddball humor comes out, so all is not lost (see the short but sweet TROUT to see what I mean).

Regardless of the brief questionable moments, SHEEP AND WOLVES is one impressive collection by a writer who has--in a relatively short period of time--made his own mark in a genre where originality is everything.

How could sexy space travel be so tedious?

SATURN'S CHILDREN by Charles Stross (2008 Penguin Group / 323pp. / hc)

Having not been a big reader of science fiction since my teenage years, I was recently dragged back in due to three newer authors: Robert Buettner, Jeff Somers, and Charles Stross. The last 3 novels I read by Stross (THE ATROCITY ARCHIVES, THE JENNIFER MORGUE, and HALTING STATE) made me a big fan, so when his latest release was announced I jumped on it.

SATURN'S CHILDREN takes place in the 23rd century, where humans are extinct but their creations live on: super-advanced robots of all shapes, sizes, and emotions. Freya is a female robot who was designed to be a sex slave. She longs to leave Venus, and is given the opportunity by someone who wants her to deliver a package for him. He funds Freya's trip, and it's not long before she finds out the package she's carrying may lead to the re-creation of an extinct human . . . and of course all kinds of intergalactic goons are looking for it, too.

While Stross' premise is fine scifi fare, and there's some really inventive robotic sex scenes (!), SATURN'S CHILDREN is bogged down with way too much technical explanation of space travel, at times reading like a never-ending college text book. At 323 tedious pages (the small typeset not helping matters), It took me 2 months to get through this (I needed to take breaks from the tiny-font) and in the end I'm convinced SATURN'S CHILDREN would've worked better as a 100-paged novella.

"Living Starships" and sexy robots aside, if this is what's considered "hard scifi," then I hope Stross goes back to the soft stuff.

(NOTE: The cool-looking cover art above is exclusive to sfbc.com. The store-issued edition features a really tacky computer-generated image).

Heroes + Zombies = FUN

AXIOM MAN: THE DEAD LAND by A.P. Fuchs (2008 Coscom Entertainment / 130 pp. / trade paperback)

Fuch's 4th Axiom Man adventure once again brings the "Doorway of Darkness" into play, this time sending Canada's favorite underground hero into an alternate version of Winnipeg where a strange gray rain has turned the city (and it seems the world) into flesh-eating zombies.

On a mission to find a young boy named Payton (after he's snatched through a portal in his bedroom closet), Axiom Man comes to the rescue of two old people stranded above an observation deck. The woman tells him what's been happening, and before long Axiom Man locates the main stronghold of the undead and a blood-soaked, action-filled blend of comic book and horror mayhem takes off.

THE DEAD LAND, as with the previous 3 installments, is a lot of fun and a very quick read: some of the scenes of Axiom Man nearly-turning into a zombie are done quite intensely. Fuchs also brings a pro-God message without patronizing the reader, something that's refreshing in itself.

I'm a much bigger horror fan than superhero fan, so I hope a future adventure will find Axiom Man again battling the undead, or even finding himself in a horror-based situation.

THE SHALLOW END OF NESSIE...

THE SHALLOW END OF THE POOL by Adam-Troy Castro (2008 Creeping Hemlock Press / 56 pp. / tp)



Aside from photographs, Ethan and his sister have never seen each other. Their divorced parents have both raised and 'trained' them separately (Ethan with his mom, she with her dad). Now teenagers (I'm assuming), the sibglings meet four hours outside of Vegas at an isolated motel where Ethan and his mother live.



The Motel's swimming pool surface is now covered with steel fencing, making it an escape-proof mini-arena where the two will battle to the death, both gagged with their hands tied behind their backs as their parents watch from above.



Castro's POOL is a brutal read, combining elements of THE FIGHT CLUB, DEAD-END DRIVE-IN, and several other fight-till-death tales. I'm also assuming this story takes place in the future (no specifics are given), and has something to do with an extreme form of divorce settlement (that understood only by the back cover's synopsis).



Despite the storys' vagueness, THE SHALLOW END OF THE POOL is an entertaining (and gutwrenching) read as Castro packs some real power into his 56-paged novella.



You may also think twice before spending too much time in the Sun after this one.







(NOW, SHIFTING GEARS JUST SLIGHTLY...)





TABLOID TERRRORS #2: NESSIE TRIED TO PIMP MY WIFE (collection) (2008 Skullvines Press / 86 pp. / tp)


After the success of TABLOID TERRORS #1: I WAS A SASQUATCH SEX SLAVE, authors/editors Hintz and Balzer return with their demented buddies to deliver 8 more tales inspired by insane headlines that used to adorn the covers of weekly rags such as THE WEEKLY WORLD NEWS and THE SUN. This time, the Loch Ness Monster (and all creatures aquatic) are the target, and Jerrod Balzer's title tale had me keeled over in hysterics (if you read it while flipping back to the cover image, you'll lose it, too). In fact, with the exception of 1 or 2 stories, this whole thing is pretty funny (that is, if you find giant squids eating the staff of a porn film, sea monkeys going ballistic, and "tea-bagging" horses to be humorous {like I do}).

Now, make no mistake: NESSIE is a crude, sophomoric, silly, disgusting, and offensive little collection, seemingly written by men who were able to channel their 10-year old psychotic horror-poop-midget-sex-monster fantasies onto paper. I don't know HOW they did it, nor do I care HOW. All I know is if you put yourself in the "mindset" of this thing, you are going to laugh until something squirts from somewhere (insert your own liquid here). Man---this sucker really got to me...

NESSIE TRIED TO PIMP MY WIFE is a fine addition to this twisted series, and any fan of humorous horror will (probably) be smirking throughout the entire read (that is, when they're not laughing their asses off)

Mind-Bending Goodness

MIRANDA by John R. Little (2008 Bad Moon Books / 110 pp. / tp / Limited Edition of 250)

After Little's last novella, PLACEHOLDERS, I was interested to see if he could top himself when I heard some very positive early buzz on his next one.

Michael Johnson suddenly remembers the "heart attack that shocked him back to life." He remembers little else. But his life is revealed to him slowly and in a way he spends most of the story attempting to come to terms with.

You see, Michael is a man who is living life in reverse, i.e. from the time of his death to his "normal" birthday. He eventually meets and marries a woman named Miranda, she too living life in reverse, although not as accepting of it as Michael. She struggles with the idea of our free will, whether we have it or not, and decides to find out if it exists or if we're all on some form of predetermined plan.

As with PLACEHOLDERS, Little again delivers a unique time-twisting tale, and like his fantastic novel THE MEMORY TREE, employs dark family secrets to chilling effect (his use of hinting is at times breath taking).

This here's the real deal. Deep, thought-provoking originality that you'll read through at a breakneck pace. I thought Little had set the bar too high last time, but MIRANDA places it up there with the best in the genre. This guy's either insane or has a real predetermined plan up his sleeve!

GREAT introduction by Gary A. Braunbeck, and Alan Clark's cover art is every bit as haunting as the story.

(Note: You can pre-order a copy now at: Bad Moon Books :: BAD MOON BOOKS :: John R. Little Miranda 1/250 SIGNED/# PRE-ORDER!! )

CREEPY returns

CREEPY Archives Volume One (2008 Dark Horse Books / 248 pp. / hc)

Dark Horse has gone all-out to present the classic Warren horror comic-magazine CREEPY in all its gloomy glory. This first Volume features the first five issues (originally published in 1963 and 1964) printed on super-glossy, "yearbook" sized paper and protected with a slick hardcover with spooky end papers. Jon B. Cooke delivers a brief but informative introduction, and among the countless classic stories is a real treat titled WEREWOLF (from the 1st issue), which features art by the legendary Frank Frazetta (he went to be a strict cover artist right after this and this is credited as his last comic illustration).

Despite some of the (now) routine vampire and classic monster stories, everything's a lot of campy fun. Two sci-fi-ish stories dealing with a robot named Adam Link turned out to be my favorites of these first five issues, and there's plenty of gruesome, politically incorrect gravedigging fun that must've been a bit intense for younger readers at the time these were originally released.

Essential reading for horror comic purists. (TIP: Despite the hefty cover charge ($49.95, amazon has this for $34).

Volume Two is scheduled for release in December, 2008.