DARK JESTERS to open for submissions

While the DARK JESTERS fanzine came and went like a silent fart (despite some good reviews), author L.L. Soares and myself will be editing the first trade paperback DARK JESTERS anthology, to be released in the fall of 2009. The guidelines will be posted on www.ralan.com as well as www.novellopublishers.com next week, but here's an advanced head's up for the 5 or so people who read this blog!





SUBMISSION GUIDELINES

DARK JESTERS:
AN ANTHOLOGY OF HUMOROUS HORROR



Title: DARK JESTERS: An Anthology of Humorous Horror, edited by Nick Cato and L.L. Soares.

Publisher: Novello Publishers (www.novellopublishers.com)

Release Date: Fall 2009

General Info: Novello Publishers is seeking 10 hysterical stories to fill their first trade paperback humorous horror anthology.

-Word count is not to exceed 2,000, NO EXCEPTIONS. The shortest accepted piece will be 1,500, but closer to the 2,000 mark is ideal for this project.

-Poetry will not be accepted.

-Stories must be horror-oriented—no scifi unless in the vein of “Alien.” Stories will be selected (mainly) on their humor content: the harder you make the editors laugh the better chance your story will be picked. Any story that insults the horror genre will not be selected; “humorous horror” does not mean we want to “make fun” of the genre. We want to see “real” horror stories with a humorous angle. Whether your story deals with classic monsters (such as vampires), the apocalypse, serial killers, ghosts, or (you fill in the blank), we want the readers to laugh ‘till it hurts.

-Stories that rely on profanity will probably not make the cut. Make us laugh without dropping F-bombs and your chance of acceptance will skyrocket.

-We do not find rape, God-bashing or child-torture funny. Gore is fine depending on how it’s used.

Format: Send your story double-spaced in a Times New Roman or Courier font as a .doc or .rtf attachment, NO EXCEPTIONS. Please underline any italicized words.

Payment: $40.00 and one contributor copy.

Note: NO REPRINTS. This will be an all-original anthology. If your story is selected you will be asked to give Novello Publishers 1 year’s exclusive rights.

Reading Period: August 1st through November 30th

Send submissions to: NickYak@aol.com with DJ SUBMISSION in the subject heading. Hard copy submissions may be sent to NOVELLO PUBLISHERS/ Box 060382 / Staten Island, NY / 10306. Hard copies must be post-dated NO LATER than November 10th, 2008.

The table of contents will be announced in early December, 2008.

EXTREMELY Extreme for Extremists

EXPERIMENTS IN HUMAN NATURE by Monica J. O'Rourke (2008 Two Backed Books / 204 pp. / trade paperback)

Two Backed Books seems to have a knack for discovering short story collections penned (and I'm assuming carved) by female writers of extreme horror. Amy Grech's APPLE OF MY EYE was an excellent introduction to a new writer of extreme fiction, and like Grech, O'Rourke really shines in the "quieter" stories (not that they're all too quiet!).

Not being a big fan of the extreme stuff, I still couldn't help but enjoy nearly every tale. Out of the 23, my favorites were:

SAVED (a piece original to this collection, is easily the most memorable and heart-wrenching of the lot. I felt like I was reading a lost Gary Braunbeck story for a while); THE REST OF LARRY, a hysterically twisted tale of a loving family (um--ok--I'm just messin' with you about the loving thing); SISTERS (one of several "survival" stories, and one of the better pieces to have appeared in the now (thankfully) defunct RED SCREAM magazine) and ORAL MOHEL, possibly the funniest extreme horror story I've ever read--that is--until I got to the obesity fetish/love story FEEDING DESIRE. Just be prepared to laugh yourself into a stupor with both.

The collections' title story (AN EXPERIMENT IN HUMAN NATURE), will mainly be enjoyed by fans of the ultra-gross and sadistic: I actually cringed through this one more than I did during Brian Keene's Iraq-story BABYLON FALLING, which I had hoped was the last I'd read of intense penis-torture! Wrong! O'Rourke also gives a nice spin on the undead with HUNTIN' SEASON, as a cannibalistic baby apocalypse gets underway.

EXPERMENTS IN HUMAN NATURE, while beyond disgusting at times in the gore/sex department, surprised me with its more laid back offerings, and features some perfectly-timed humor. 'Nifty little introduction by author Brian Knight, too.

I'm scared to see who Two Backed Books exposes to the genre next!

SKULL CATHEDRAL now shipping

We received this baby from the printer today and it looks FANTASTIC. Grab one (while you still can) at http://www.novellopublishers.com/ (for snail orders) or online at: SKULL CATHEDRAL by Tim Waggoner - Advance Order - Horror Mall

Thanks again to everyone who contributed to my press' first Bizarro project, and let us know how you like it.

-Nick

COMIN SOON: I start bloggin', NOT just pimpin'!

Arguably one of the more unusual author collaborations to come around in years, ORGY OF SOULS takes a look at faith, fame, sacrifice, redemption, and should easily please fans of both authors.

After contracting AIDS on a mission trip, Catholic priest Father Samuel begins to question his faith, yet continues to encourage others suffering from the same disease as well as faithfully performing his priestly duties. Samuel's brother, Samson, is a top-notch fashion model and considered to be one of the best looking men in the world. Not being able to deal with his righteous brother's situation, he makes a deal to give twenty souls in exchange for Samuel's life---twenty souls he has to take by seducing and violently butchering each victim. When Samson tells Samuel what he's doing, it causes the priest to further contemplate both their existences. Of course, all hell (literally) breaks loose when Samson learns he wasn't bargaining with an angel . . . at least not with a heavenly angel.

Packed with genuine theological questions most people--religious or not--wrestle with, White and Broaddus have crafted a tight, extreme horror story that's scary, intense, heartbreaking, and by allowing readers to draw their own conclusions on the spiritual issue of faith, this unlikely writing-duo have even managed to minister to their audience (not to shabby for this first pairing between a Christian and an Athiest!).

ORGY OF SOULS is a gore-soaked, thought-provoking, unique novella that is must reading for fans of religious-themed horror. There's also an excellent foreword and afterword by the authors.

A BUSY June

Publishing: SKULL CATHEDRAL is at the printer and should be in our possession and ready to ship within the next 2-3 weeks. The art department at our printer is doing a KILLER job making our first full-color cover as vivid as possible.

Writing: A small press recently contacted me about one of my novels, and I've been dedicating most of my time to rewriting and polishing it before sending them the first few chapters.

This Blog: I intend to begin filling this blog with more than spam for my press---stay tuned and I'm sure you'll find something to irritate you here!